Chapter Text
Thursday
(5:13a) I have come to the conclusion that my son is trying to murder me.
(5:14a) Motor oil and a red bull in my coffee
(5:16a) I feel so betrayed
(5:17a) And also very awake. I don't think I'll ever sleep again.
(5:19a) It's been 3 hours and my heart is still pounding. Does he not know I have a heart condition?
(5:23a)
Tony what the
fuck
(5:23a) I'm dying
(5:24a) Tony I was sleeping
(5:24a) Cruel. Heartless.
(5:25a) … Harley?
(5:27a) DUM-E
(5:28a) That was my second guess. You gonna be okay?
(5:29a) I should be. Motor oil has a very distinct taste, so I noticed pretty quickly, even with it in coffee.
(5:30a) I feel like the fact that you know how motor oil tastes is pretty damn concerning
(5:34a) This is not DUM-E's first attempt on my life. I did drink a ton of the red bull coffee though.
(5:36a) My hands are all shakey and I'm feeling quite tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep. Goodnight, Bucky.\
(5:43a) Night. Please don't die.
(9:36a) What the fuck happened last night
(9:38a) I feel like someone tried to crack my chest open with an icepick and DUM-E is pouting in the corner with his dunce cap
(9:45a) Good morning, sunshine
(9:45a) Scroll up
(9:48a) Ah… I'm sorry
(9:51a) It's fine. I'm glad you aren't dead.
(9:51a) And I took a look at those pages you sent me.
(9:54a) Yeah?
(9:55a) Yeah. I think I'm gonna
(9:57a) That's great. You deserve better than Hammer Tech.
(9:58a) I mean, anyone but the most irredeemable of bastards deserves better than Hammer Tech, but you especially.
(10:06a) Hey Tony
(10:09a) I'm really glad I threatened to stab you
(10:10a) I have to go. Doody calls. Talk later?
(10:10a) I'm glad you did too
(10:11a) Nevermind. That's the worst pun I've ever seen. I regret ever responding to you. Dear Lovelace, I can't believe you made me read that with my own two eyes.
(12:38p) Presumably you would not read it with someone else's two eyes …
(12:38p) Besides, my job being what it is, that was quite literal
(12:50p) Wow. That's horrifying. Thanks for that nightmare fodder.
(12:56p) Not really. You get used to this shit.
(12:58p) Did you just really…
(12:58p) I did :)
(1:01p) Oh crap. There's a foster applicant here. Gotta go
(1:03p) Talk to you later, Bucky
(1:25p) Did you really get Bucky a spot in the prosthetics program because you have a crush on him?
(1:30p) I resent that statement for several reasons. Also we have been over you hacking my phone. I believe my exact instructions were "Don't."
(1:32p) I didn't hack your phone. I hacked your email.
(1:35p) I can hear your smugness from here. That is not any better. There is CLASSIFIED information in there.
(1:36p) That's rich coming from the guy who hacked the Pentagon for kicks.
(1:39p) That was not kicks. That was a bet. Significantly more important.
(1:40p) I'm having a hard time believing you waited to confront me about this. Did you just wake up?
(1:45p) I'm a growing boy?
(1:47p) Yeah you need to stop that too.
(1:47p) Being a boy? I'm thinking about it.
(1:49p) I meant growing, but sure. That too if you want. Want to talk about it?
(1:51p) ...Maybe
(4:30p) Send help
(5:17p) ?
(5:23p) Any experience with gender crises?
(5:24p) Not really. Sorry. Why?
(5:25p) Harley. I just want to be supportive, but I'm lost.
(5:28p) Ah. Gimme a minute. I need to feed the bastard creatures.
(5:48p) I'm sure you're doing fine. I dunno about you, but I had a big sexuality crisis, and I was all sorts of confused. People kept expecting me to pick something or come out, and I hated that. Let them (?) come to you?
(5:50p) Sorry if that's completely useless. I'm sure you already knew all that.
(5:50p) No, that makes sense. Thanks.
(5:51p) I’ll let Harley crisis and make sure I’m there if they need to talk. I know, but it helps having it spelled out.