Things I'd Read to a Priest in a Confessional
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“You don’t know much about soccer, do you?”
“I know my kid is going to be the best at it,” Jaemin states.
Perhaps his earlier irritation had given him an extra boost of unwarranted confidence. Maybe it was Chenle’s unparalleled excitement about the sport. Or maybe the presence of another young father ignites something long buried within him: competitiveness.
“Yeah? You think so?”
Jaemin narrows his eyes.
“I know so.”
In which Jaemin and Jeno are petty single fathers out to destroy the sanctity of youth soccer.
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“I’m going to say something, and I need you to tell me if it sounds insane.”
Mingyu leans in, too, incredibly seriously. “Okay. I’ll be honest with you, Wonwoo. We’re close enough for that.”
“I got my nipples pierced in a pseudo-frathouse at three in the morning by the hottest man I've ever seen in my life. And I was going to take them out, because they’re really not for me— I’m a goddamn accountant!— But, the guy who did them said he thinks they'll look good healed, and I'm kind of hoping I'll run into him again so he can … y’know.. tell me if he was right…” Wonwoo rushes to get all the story out at once. Mingyu has a problem with interrupting.
This time, though, he sits completely still. Waits until Wonwoo is finished before pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes. Then he says, “You sound insane”
(OR: Wonwoo loses a bet, gets his nipples pierced, and keeps them because he has the tits for it.)
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There wasn’t much talking involved. Yoongi messaged JK first. Hey. JK messaged back and asked if he wanted to see the fire trucks. Yoongi doesn’t really know what the fuck that means, but JK’s profile said he’s twenty-seven, so maybe it’s some weird generation gap thing. He didn’t question it. He asked for the address, and JK gave it, so, Yoongi is, like, pretty sure that means he’s about to get fucked by the hot fireman from Grindr.
(OR: You want to come see the firetrucks? the what? The fire trucks.)
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“You’ve been fucking the new HR guy over the phone for…”
“Months,” Wonwoo admits.
“Oh my god.”
“I know.”
“He’s in HR. He’s literally the sex police.”
“I know!”
(OR: The new HR guy is the phone sex operator Wonwoo has been calling for months. He handles it super well.)
Bookmarked by dinosols
30 Aug 2025
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oh my god they're ridiculous. i'm in love
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“What are you getting at?” He bites out.
The smirk on that man’s face would be the first thing to go, he decides. He’d kiss it away, steal his breath, and then move on from there. “Using your words, of course.” San chirps. “I’m sure you’ve been in some interesting positions. I assumed you’d be able to paint some pretty pictures for me… Well, I’m sure you do this a lot, Mingi. But I’m afraid that doesn’t mean you know how to enjoy it.”
The light flickers green and the demon hisses.
“Drive.”
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In other words, Mingi has never even considered submitting, and especially not to a human. Choi San spends a night teaching a sex demon what it's like to relax and enjoy it, along with a few other lessons the demon didn't realize he didn't know.
(Note: The words "pussy/cunt" are used a few times.)