My favourite BG3 Astarion fics
Astarion fics that I enjoy because they make me feel stuff
(Open, Moderated)
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Summary
The hand removed itself from his forehead. “Temperature is normal,” Gale announced, before using its fingers to gather some stray drool that had trailed down Astarion’s jaw. Before Astarion could register the pitiful jolt of arousal at the sudden skin contact or the sheer absurdity of what Gale was doing, Gale had stuck its fingers in its mouth.
“What the —”
“No new bacteria detected,” Gale went on, “Ruling out food poisoning.”
“Oh, Gods,” Astarion groaned. “And to think that these things are what’s sending our workforce into a tizzy. What next, 'droid? Are you about to give me a rectal examination too?”
“There is no need for one at the moment,” Gale said, confused. “Unless you are seeking prostate stimulation—”
“No!”
Amidst the softly thrumming melancholy of a dystopian, cyber-punk city, former corporate-rat Astarion Ancunín, who has long since lost the will to live, finds himself in possession of a G-413 or "Gale" - an amnesiac android who, strangely enough, enjoys living.
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“An entire back is quite the undertaking for a first tattoo.”
“I’m aware.”
“I’m sure you are. And I’m also sure several of the artists whose council you sought have explained to you that a piece as large as that...well. It’s just that I’d hate for you to discover you can’t sit through something so large, and waltz out of here with half, or heaven forbid a third of a tattoo.”
He gets right up in Gale’s face. “Believe me,” he purrs, low and dark, “I can handle pain, darling.”
It might be the way he says it. The way he looks. Hell, the way he’s looking at him. Whatever it is, it’s like lightning and it shoots straight to Gale’s gut.
Something about this stranger screams trouble. Unstable, capricious. Certainly short tempered. But he’s the first bit of colour Gale has seen at Crown of Kings since he started and if he’s being honest, it’s a high he’s willing to chase.
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Turns out, it’s not heart disease that gets you. Not a car crash, the second coming, or even a plain old slip in the shower that removes you from this mortal coil.
It’s motherfucking aliens.
Your Uncle Randy would be so proud.
Or: two losers cheat, stab, and flirt their way to a win.
Series
- Part 1 of these two shitheads
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Mosquito, Puddle, Pain and Torment (and Honey) by lavvyan for shroomonabroom
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
19 Apr 2024
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Gale shouldn’t be entirely startled to find a vampire standing in the middle of his foyer, wet clothes dripping on the carpet and hands cupped around something small and equally soaked through.
He shouldn’t be, and yet…
“I found her in a crate,” Astarion says, shifting his grip to reveal a tiny slip of a kitten, sodden and shivering. His expression is bemused as he looks down at the little creature.
For all Astarion’s readiness to stab those deserving and undeserving alike, cruelty to animals bewilders him. Something Gale finds endlessly charming, not that he would ever say as much.
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Gale likes Astarion. Astarion likes cats. Gale might have made a slight miscalculation somewhere.
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Summary
"Marriage, Wyll? I thought you'd have learned not to get trapped by devious contracts."
Series
- Part 2 of nothing is safe