da FINIRE X ME
my shit
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Summary
One of the main characters - the only surviving witness to a murder - has just woken from a coma. Not only is she entirely cognizant, but the first thing that the subtitles say she asks for is a lawyer.
“What are you fucking giggling about?”
The other person that’s been paying attention is Flambae. He’s right next to Robert on the couch, his arm slung over the top behind his head. One foot is propped up on the other knee, also pointing towards Robert, which has him caged in the corner by the arm rest. It’s probably some fucked-up power move. Robert has been ignoring it just to spite him.
“It’s just not how comas work,” Robert shrugs.
“Right, and you know because you’re a fucking doctor,” Flambae quips back.
“I know because I was in one, asshole.”
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During a quiet night in, Robert realizes that his coma and injuries aren't common knowledge among Z-Team.
Most of them take the information in stride with jokes aplenty.
Flambae does not.
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Robert has been on independent study since the death of his mother four years ago. His father pulled him out of school since he couldn't seem to keep a handle on his emotions -- he kept getting into fights and his grades were slipping. Now that he's returning for his junior year he'd not expecting much. He'd never been particularly popular, and school politics meant nothing to him. He never expected to make any friends, and he certainly never expected to fall in love with the biggest asshole in the school. That's just his luck, it seems.
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While Chad is trying to be a good person by escorting Robert home, they get hit by a superpower that makes it very painful for them to be more than a few feet apart. In trying to figure out how to be together under these new conditions, they learn a lot more about each other and slowly fall in love.
Or, the Reverse Social Distance AU that emmasmoke8 keeps yapping about on Tumblr
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Trigger Warning: Implied/referenced self-harm, body dysmorphic disorder, jokes about murder/suicide, more to be added -
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“I’m making negative five thousand dollars each month?” Robert’s mouth fell open and he wasn’t sure he could afford to close it.
Sonar just nodded. “Sure are. Your credit card debt has credit card debt. I’m honestly shocked your credit score isn’t six.”
“So I’m just poor? That’s it?”
“Sucks to suck dude.” Sonar stood up, stretching as he yawned. “Bet you wish you’d sealed the deal with Blonde Blazer now, huh?”
“I’m not hot enough to fuck my way into triple my salary and a new suit.”
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or; Robert becomes a phone sex operator. Flambae becomes his best client.
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The One Where Robert Forgot To Pay His Heating Bill On Time by Kazoo_frog
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
In a perfect, sober, responsible world, Robert would've said something along the lines of, "Hello, my respected and platonic co-worker. I would like to ask if I could take a shower at your place before I head home for the night, as the hot water in my apartment has unfortunately been shut off. I can't stand another ice cold shower because my joints have been acting up so badly this week that I'm willing to ask this mildly embarrassing favor from you of all people."
Instead, the words that tumbled out of his mouth as he clung to Flambae's shoulders were " I... You. . my shower....Im so Cold.... Please~"
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Drunk miscommunication leads to bubbling up tensions and steamy (heyo) shower sex >:)