Moony's Midlife Crisis Fest 2026
Welcome to Moony’s Midlife Crisis Fest 2026!
(Open, Moderated, Unrevealed, Anonymous)
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Prompt 316:
Remus loves birdwatching. Sirius doesn't care but accidentally sees a super rare bird while Remus is on the toilet. Remus has a meltdown. Should he abandon his lifelong hobby?
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Moony's Midlife Crisis Prompt 185
Dear Younger Self...
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Fourteen years had passed since he walked away from his friends. Fourteen years since Remus had slipped away into the night, protecting his heart from Sirius' impending betrayal. By the time he had realized his mistake it was too late.
It's been twenty years since Sirius sowed the seeds of doubt within Remus; fourteen since the love of his life finally saw the light and walked.
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...A glimpse at the future for you, because I know you need proof. Every “serious” moment you wait, hanging on for an annoying pun that feels inevitable, but never comes—and you miss it. Even now, years later, every moon reminds you of him. You ache from the loss. And the smell of leather makes you do a double take expecting him to be waiting decked out in his jacket, and a smile just for you.
So, put aside your pride. Forgive him; he loves you—even if he doesn't believe he deserves it himself. He's always been a bit of a wanker and it's unlikely to change, but for some reason we like that about him. Finally, remember to be kind to yourself.
Moony
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Alternative medicine: Side effects may include nonsensical love by Anonymous
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Jul 2026
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“Anyway,” Dorcas says, leaning on her elbows on the countertop and passing Remus a sly smile. “Have you thought more about what I suggested? About trying sexual therapy for the pain.”
Remus, a forty-one-year-old divorced single father, ventures out into the world of online dating with the goal of using casual sex as treatment for his chronic pain.
He’s shocked when his first match makes a lewd suggestion for them to meet up that very night. Sirius, a twenty-seven-year-old unreasonably fit gym teacher with eyes that sparkle and a smile that does ridiculous things to Remus’s stomach.
It makes no sense.
But Remus is willing to try.
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Remus couldn’t be blamed for suggesting it, really. Multiple forces had conspired against him to such a degree that his hand was practically forced: eyes heavy with the weight of the hour, and mind a little fuzzy from that third glass of wine, and body so stupidly comfortable sprawled out on the stupid chaise end of Sirius’ stupidly massive sofa.
“We should get married.”
Remus and Sirius marry. Out of convenience, of course.
At least, at first. At least, until Remus begins to wake to a racing pulse; to a wing-tangled belly; to the giddy terror of belated epiphany.
At least, until the whole thing has turned rather inconvenient indeed.
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Written for Moony's Midlife Crisis Fest 2026. Prompt 189:
Remus takes up baking as a hobby, but doesn't like to eat them himself (for whatever reason) His friends and family dutifully eat everything he makes and no one has the heart to tell him he absolutely sucks at baking