Comment on You Aren't A Lawyer Yet, Don't Talk To Me

  1. totallyunnamedperson on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 02:40AM UTC

    OKAY, OKAY, FLAT, THIS. IS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL.

    MY ASIAN SENSES WERE GOING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AND LEMME TELL YOU IT WAS A WILD RIDE /pos

    "Okay, listen up, this is very important life advice," Wilbur said. "Lesson number one: when you call your parents with their name, you're dead. If your parents call you by your full name, you're dead. And finally, if you say 'what' or 'huh' with the slightest bit of aggression or disrespect in it, you're dead." ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF AT ONE OF THOSE SITUATIONS YOU HAVE SECONDS TO PREPARE FOR THE INEVITABLE.

    "Lesson number two: do NOT call Dream a slimy bitch," Wilbur practically begged. "And lesson number three: never mention anything about school or work or anything along those lines, or else Dad will rant about how he climbed eighteen mountains, swam through the Atlantic Ocean, braved three blizzards, flew over nineteen plains, and ran through a jungle just to get to school." YES. FUCJING YES, EVERYTHING IS SO ON POINT AND I CANT HELP BUT CRY /pos

    "7PM," Wilbur huffed. "Not-Really-Tommy, you best know how to make rice."

    "I can attempt," Tommy provided, and Wilbur covered his face in his hands.

    "That's good enough. Don't burn or poison it," Wilbur advised, and Tommy shrugged nonchalantly.

    "It's just rice. How hard can it be?"

    Famous last words.

    WAAAAAA NOOO FLAT I AM GONNA SOB AND BURY MYSELF TEN FEET UNDERGROUND /lh

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    1. SeaCollides on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 03:23AM UTC

      The Asian Life Advice: Field Guide by Wilbur Soot, an Asian-times bestseller

      I AM GLAD I CAN GIVE YOU A WILD RIDE ZEL :)

      "If you find yourself at one of those situations you have seconds to prepare for the inevitable" SO SO INCREDIBLY TRUE. You have a .3 reaction time before your parents come to wallop your butt into the fiery pits of hell.

      AND DON'T BURY YOURSELF TEN FEET UNDER, HOW WILL I NOTIFY YOU OF MY SOON-TO-COME PLAY PIRATES UPDATE?!

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      1. totallyunnamedperson on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 03:58AM UTC

        SDNFHEKDBDNSHZNDBSHSN I FORGOT THE RICE FOR LIKE, TWO TIMES HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME /pos /lh (PERHAPS I SHALL BURY MYSELF FOUR FEET UNDERGROUND SO THAT WHEN THE UPDATE COMES OUT I CAN EASILY GET OUT OF THE DIRT)

        Last Edited Wed 21 Apr 2021 03:59AM UTC

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        1. SeaCollides on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 04:56AM UTC

          NOOOO HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE RICE FOR SO MANY TIMES, YOU MUST COOK IT WITH THE TEARS OF YOUR ANCESTORS NOW

          (COMPROMISE: HOW ABOUT 3.14 FEET? LOW, BUT NEVERENDING)

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          1. totallyunnamedperson on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 06:38AM UTC

            IT WAS ONLY TWO TIMES FLAT WHAT DO YOU MEAN

            (3.60. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

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            1. SeaCollides on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 07:02AM UTC

              TWO TIMES IS TOO (MUCH) TIMES

              (I’LL TAKE THAT)

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              1. totallyunnamedperson on Chapter 1 Wed 21 Apr 2021 07:30AM UTC

                NO ITS NOT STOP LYING WSHSMXBSJSHSHSGDCB

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