Nights and Mornings
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Summary
“Would you tell me a bedtime story?” he finally asked quietly, with heavy-lidded eyes, still staring at the television.
Eliot’s heart throbbed. Are you asking because you miss me? Eliot wanted to ask. Or just because you’re still not okay and I make you feel better?
And also: Is this what being brave means? That I don’t ask, and I just keep opening my heart to you, because I fucked up and didn’t choose you, and she had already given you the words you needed by the time I got free of the Monster that hurt you that you still won’t talk about?
And: Does it mean I never point out that you never chose me, either, not really? Not in the ways that mean anything?
Series
- Part 1 of Nights and Mornings
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It wasn’t like that anymore. He and Eliot weren’t-- they didn’t. Because Quentin was with Alice. And being with Alice, the way they were now-- it made sense, for Quentin. Or, it had made sense, when there was the Monster, and Quentin hadn’t thought there was a possibility with Eliot, even if-- even when they got him back.
In a weird way, it had made even more sense once Eliot came back (thank God thank God thank God) and revealed that, guess what, he did want Quentin after all. Because Quentin always wanted too much from the people and things he loved, from Alice to Eliot to Fillory; how many times did he have to learn that lesson? And after-- after-- everything, fuck-- these last six months. Maybe it was time to accept what Eliot had always known, even if he’d forgotten a little, understandably, after being trapped alone inside a monster for so long: that no one would choose to sign up for fifty years of tending to the gaping black hole inside Quentin.
And then came that night, last month.
Series
- Part 2 of Nights and Mornings