the only true messiah rescues us from ourselves
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Pete and Patrick never meet and Fall Out Boy never happens but there are some things that are universal constants.
Pete's magic ability to make Patrick want to commit homicide, for example.
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How the fuck does Pete know where he lives, fucking seriously.
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Pete's got a plan okay, a brilliant plan with, like, bullet points and shit. He's titled it 'How To Make Patrick Stump Like Me' and making out with Patrick Stump is decidedly not part of said plan.
Pete's willing to improvise, though.
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Things get better and then they get much, much worse. And Pete, well, Pete deals with it the way Pete deals with everything: he doesn't.
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