Maelstrom Epistolary Memorandums

Series Metadata

Listing Series

• A Memorandum on Health and Hygiene for Ship Crews by CyanideBreathmint for Nagaina

  Fandoms: Final Fantasy XIV  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Gen, Other
  • Complete Work

  22 Mar 2022

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Severaux Vilauclaire (OC)
  • this is just one fic-length shitpost
  • Historically Accurate Condoms
  • did you know condoms existed in the 16th century
  • safer sex in Eorzea and beyond
  • those giant urethral syringes also existed in the Age of Sail
  • surprisingly nerdy sort of smut or surprisingly smutty nerdery you decide

  Summary

  A memo authored by a Maelstrom warrant officer about the use of certain devices during more intimate activities of the crew: or, wrap it before you tap it, sailors, we can't have you laid up with the pox or the clap.

  Series

  • Part 1 of Maelstrom Epistolary Memorandums

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  1,366

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  6

  Kudos:

  22

  Bookmarks:

  3

  Hits:

  134

• Replies And Follow-Ups to a Memorandum on Health and Hygiene by CyanideBreathmint

  Fandoms: Final Fantasy XIV  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Gen, Other
  • Complete Work

  23 Mar 2022

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Severaux Vilauclaire (OC)
  • Other OCs - Character
  • more shitpost fanfic
  • this time with dick jokes
  • implication of penile spikes
  • i'm having fun are you having fun?
  • wrap it before you tap it sailor

  Summary

  Chief Sergeant Vilauclaire is very much gratified to receive this many replies to his memorandum on safer amatory pursuits during shore leave, but he is only able to answer a few choice letters. These are the missives.

  Series

  • Part 2 of Maelstrom Epistolary Memorandums

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  1,177

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  2

  Kudos:

  10

  Hits:

  46