menace
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Summary
Kuroo doesn’t ask to suffer. It just happens naturally. Sometimes he wonders, with all the shitty situations he gets himself into, if there’s some sort of ongoing family curse that no one bothered to tell him about, because there’s no way one person could be this unlucky.
“Oikawa, are you — are you guys having sex?”
“Yes,” Oikawa immediately admits unabashed, as if he’s discussing the weather over mimosas during Saturday brunch or planning a day out at the zoo. There’s a scuffling sound and then, “Iwa-chan, if you don’t knock it off, you’re sleeping on the couch. It took me an hour to get it this way.”
You are cordially invited to the funeral of Kuroo Tetsurou's sense of self-worth because he is never going outside again.
Series
- Part 1 of menace
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Summary
“Anyways, Iwa-chan, stay away from Atsumu. Man’s a total slut.”
Hajime blinks before furrowing his brows in confusion. “What are you even going on about?”
Tooru gasps. “You haven’t noticed?” And when Hajime looks around, the rest of the team is nodding in solidarity before glancing over at Atsumu who is having what looks like a conversation (but is more likely a hostage situation) with Kiyoomi, his back turned to the rest of them.
“He’s always making those eyes around you,” Tooru says, threading his fingers together and fluttering his lashes in an attempt at making cow eyes. “He thinks they make him look like a doe but he actually looks like a fully grown killer whale. I wouldn’t put him above murdering me to have you all to himself. Your arms can do that to a person. Now, Akaashi knows you’re taken and you’re only going to get married to make it through this life. He’s loyal like you. So that solves the whole hand holding dilemma. After you both die, you can hold my hand and Akaashi can hold Bo’s and none of us have to walk on the road.”
In which Hajime has a headache and the entire JNT is taking Tooru's morbid humor way too seriously.
Series
- Part 2 of menace