only adult in the room
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Listing Series
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make no plans (and none can be broken) by Sphere (optimal_stingray)
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Mar 2026
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Summary
Albus Dumbledore in the summer of 1995, searching desperately for a Defence professor: Why don’t I write my good friend Sarutobi Hiruzen, a fellow member in good standing of the Useless, Yet Purportedly Wise, Fictional Mentors Club, to see if he has a candidate in mind?
Sarutobi Hiruzen: I know the perfect person for this. She’s an S-ranked former ANBU and she just graduated a genin team to chūnin, so she’s got teaching experience!
Albus Dumbledore: …This is a fifteen-year-old.
Hyūga Hinata, fresh off taking down Orochimaru at the Chūnin Exams: Wow, if I had a nickel for every snake-themed, immortality-obsessed whackjob I’ve ever had to kill, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.
I’ve set Hinataverse!Hinata loose on the wizarding world, where she immediately does her damnedest to set a new record for the Voldemort defeat any% speedrun. Casualties are… considerable.
Series
- Part 9 of Into the Hinataverse
- Part 1 of only adult in the room
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lily evans potter: an inevitability in ten parts by Sphere (optimal_stingray)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
07 Feb 2026
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Summary
Ten scenes in the life of one Lily Evans Potter.
(Technically a side story to make no plans, but can stand alone.)
Series
- Part 2 of only adult in the room
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behind the demiguise curtain by combat_epistemologist
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
With the Ministry denying Voldemort’s return, Dumbledore needs to find a politically neutral and ideally halfway competent Defense professor before the Ministry foists their own stooge upon him. His hiring practices are questionable, but Leo Nyquist (California-based magical theorist, Deathly Hallows seeker, and occasional Dark Lord) isn’t going to complain.
A fic about being Employed in the background of the epic fantasy, evil trans solidarity, early modern English history, American wizard worldbuilding that isn’t just Britain II, the purebloods as an unemployed knightly class that’s started eating its own, and masc v. masc cyber-ontological warfare for the fate of a special rock. Also, ninja-dodging every archive warning by having your protag do ‘philosophy thought experiment’–ass crimes.
Series
- Part 3 of only adult in the room