just me, my friends, and our 500 year old artificial human
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always carry a switchblade and ibuprofen by sarosficial
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
07 Jan 2026
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Summary
“And get this.” Tighnari leans forward conspiratorially. “Durin apparently wanted Hat Guy to show him around the Akademiya. He initially said no, but then Durin pouted and he agreed.”
Kaveh’s jaw drops, gasping with all the dramatics that this situation requires. Alhaitham’s eyebrows even raise slightly, almost like he’s impressed. “What?” Kaveh whispers. “This is the same guy who once told a toddler sobbing in the street to get a hold of himself, yes?”
“Precisely.” Really, Tighnari doesn’t consider himself one prone to gossip. He’s more so… intrigued. Have they known each other for a long time? If so, why haven’t they ever heard of or seen him until now? And how would they know each other?
There's a new dragon in town, and he somehow has the ability to befriend Hat Guy of all people. Tighnari, Cyno, Alhaitham, and Kaveh (who have all known Hat Guy for much longer, thank you) are determined to solve the mystery.
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Hat Guy sighs once more, crossing his arms. “He is simultaneously three ages at once. He’s two species at once. The kid has no actual hobbies except alchemy, and I suspect Albedo already has things covered on the front. What the hell am I supposed to get him?”
“Oh no,” Kaveh says, because those are all very important things to consider. “What am I supposed to get him?”
The Sumeru gang has been invited to Durin's birthday party. Only issue is it's in Mondstadt... and Mondstadt is certainly an eclectic place.
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