veni, vidi, vici
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"That is. Okay. Where do I start." Pushing off the counter — hands need to be free for this. "Number one. That is not how being secure in your sexuality works. Number two. That is the opposite of how it works. Number three. Most straight men who are secure in their sexuality do not, as a method of confirming this, seek out gay sex. That is— Eddie, that is gay. The thing you are describing is gay. The act of doing it is gay. There is no version of this where you end up more straight at the other end."
Eddie scoffs. "You don't know that."
"I do know that."
"You don't."
"Eddie, I am bi. I have personally conducted this experiment. The results are in."
Or,
Eddie asks Buck to fuck him to prove he's straight. Things go about as well as you'd think.Series
- Part 1 of veni, vidi, vici
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"So." Buck takes another sip of coffee, real slow, savoring the wind-up. He sets the mug down with a soft clink. "Princess."
Eddie closes his eyes.
This is it. This is where they find him face down in his eggs. Chimney's going to have to call Pepa. Pepa is going to be furious. The funeral will be small and Buck better wear something hideous to it, Buck better wear that godawful floral shirt with the parrots, the one Eddie told him was ugly out loud one time two years ago and has been secretly obsessed with ever since, because Eddie deserves the satisfaction of being buried while looking at it.
"Buck." He says it into his toast.
Buck shrugs. "I'm just asking."
"You're not asking. You're enjoying yourself."
"I'm doing both, Eds, I’m versatile."
Or,
Eddie gains a boyfriend, a pair of lace panties, and learns a lot about himself in the span of forty-eight hours.Series
- Part 2 of veni, vidi, vici