Season 13 Codas
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Around, cross over, around, slip, pull tight.
It’s a basic enough knot, but it does the job.
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- Part 1 of Season 13 Codas
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The bottle dangles in one hand, the knife in the other, and Dean stalks down the hall, heading back to the kitchen. He should tell Sam, let him know the stupid kid’s gone all stab-happy-Bukowski. Then Sam can rush in with his Dr Phil crap and smother the kid in stupid platitudes about rock bottom and getting through it. The two of them will probably have a good cry, listen to some fucking Enya, then start moving on, in all the ways that Dean can’t.
There’s nothing to move on to. Dean’s future is lost in gritty, greasy, black smoke.
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- Part 2 of Season 13 Codas
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“You lost your mom, Dean. Again. And your best friend.”
“He was more than that.” It bursts from his chest, unbidden, and he immediately wishes he could take it back – suck the confession right back in and keep it next to his heart where it belongs.
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- Part 3 of Season 13 Codas
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Demons, angels: they come here and they sleep. They live lives of light or darkness or fire or joy but then they die and it’s lights out, kids. Everything sleeps. Everything is quiet and still and endless and nothing ever wakes up.
Nothing ever has. There’s nothing that can wake up when there’s nothing to wake up to.
Nothing’s ever woken up before, and nothing’s ever stomped around, leaving a slimy trail of icky feelings wherever it walks.
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- Part 4 of Season 13 Codas
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"Dean. Every notebook, on this particular shelf, tells a version of how you die."
But which one's right?
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- Part 5 of Season 13 Codas
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Dean’s been holding his breath for two whole days. At first it was a buoy, but now it’s asphyxiation.
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- Part 6 of Season 13 Codas
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“You’ve reached my voicemail. Make your voice. . . a mail.”
“I thought we weren’t doing this anymore, Cas. I thought we had a rule now. You weren’t gonna go takin’ off on us – on me, man – and tryin' to do it all alone. C’mon.”
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- Part 7 of Season 13 Codas
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“Dean. Little Deanie-Weenie. Captain Sadsack. Think he knows how loud he’s being?”
Uneasiness trickles through Castiel. “Loud?”
“Mmm, yeah. The longing.” He over-enunciates the word, his lips sticking all the way through the bars. “I mean, I didn’t always notice, but in here, nothing to do but listen – man, he sure wants you, Castiel.”
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- Part 8 of Season 13 Codas
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“See, what we need, is a chopper lift outta here,” Dean says, gingerly propping his swollen ankle on a twisting tree root. “You, me, we’ll let Jeff Goldblum tag along.”
“Sounds great,” Sam says tiredly.
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- Part 9 of Season 13 Codas
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Dean knows he should say something, but there’s a twisted feeling in his gut that won’t go away. It’s been there since he saw Claire on the ground, weeping in Jody’s arms.
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- Part 10 of Season 13 Codas
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“D’you think we’re gonna die doing this job? Think we’ll end bloody?”
“Yes,” Cas says promptly, not looking up. “Of course we will.”
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- Part 11 of Season 13 Codas
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“So,” Dean says, nodding his head down to his phone on the table. “Wasn’t you, this whole time.”
“No,” Cas agrees, as his other eyebrow floats up too. “Wasn’t me.”
Dean snorts. “Shoulda known. Wasn’t like you to call every day.”
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- Part 12 of Season 13 Codas
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Finally, when Donatello lets out a particularly impressive belch, followed by a mumbled pardon me, Cas stands.
“I think I’ll turn in,” he says. And he waits.
Dean swallows and looks up from his Colt. Christ, the look Cas is giving him is enough to curl his toes. “Yeah. ‘Night,” Dean says. His heartrate is spiking and his throat is like sandpaper.
Cas gives him a short nod, then walks off down the hallway.
Getting out this many guns was a really fucking stupid idea.
Series
- Part 13 of Season 13 Codas
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“Did you even hesitate?” Dean asks.
“No,” Cas says. “I did what I had to do.”
A laugh huffs out of Dean’s chest, dry and bitter, before he can do anything to stop it. “Yeah. That’s what you always do.”
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- Part 14 of Season 13 Codas
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It takes Castiel a long time to rise from the sandbox and start walking back to his truck. As he trudges by, Indra passes the bottle wordlessly, his expression empty. There’s still grit on Castiel’s fingers when he reaches out and takes it.
He doesn’t look back as Indra opens the gates for the final time and crosses through.
The alcohol doesn’t do anything, of course, other than provide a welcoming burn in his chest. It isn’t pain, but it’s proof, proof of being. Strange now, how important that is – to feel alive.
Series
- Part 15 of Season 13 Codas