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The Judgement of Solomon by mybrotherharry for Bookaholic
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies)
06 Feb 2016
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Summary
"Let's do the math here - I love Steve, you love Steve. Steve loves me, Steve loves you," Barnes says, counting off of his fingers. "And yet, nobody is getting fucked and everybody is miserable. Steve won't have one of us because it hurts the other. Do you see where I am going with this?"
Tony literally feels his brain turn to mush. The unpleasant, ghastly, industry grade lubricant kind of mush.
"Are you suggesting - a threesome? Because Steve won't - "
"Ewww, no!" Barnes interjects and continues before Tony has the time to look properly insulted. "Nothing personal, Stark, but I used to mess around with your dad. So no, I have no desire to see you naked, ever."
That pronouncement promptly kills any and all desire Tony had felt stirring in his belly at the possibility of seeing Steve naked. Because - Barnes and Howard - no, just - no. No, no, no, thank you. No.
"Stark, you and I have a predicament. It is a shared, common predicament and I believe we can come to an arrangement."
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19 May 2019