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• A Quick Side Quest (aka that one fic where John's a cat) by Blepppppp

  Fandoms: Malevolent (Podcast)  

  • Not Rated
  • Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
  • Gen
  • Work in Progress

  19 Jul 2026

  Tags

  • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
  • Major Character Death
  • John & Arthur Lester
  • Kayne & Darkthur Lester
  • John (Malevolent)
  • Arthur Lester
  • Kayne (Malevolent)
  • The Manager (Malevolent)
  • Darkthur Lester
  • Arthur lester and his never ending string of injuries
  • major character death but only for a little bit
  • John gets his own body
  • but not in the way ANYONE expected
  • fluff and humour served on a platter of pain and angst
  • no one's ok here but we're all having a good time
  • hey does anyone remember the Darkthur timeline
  • i sure hope so
  • canon typical torment
  • character exploration in the silliest way possible
  • this was originally just crack but now I'm in too deep
  • ambiguous Arthur and John relationship
  • but probably queerplatonic
  • cus I'm aroace and have no idea how to write actual romance lol
  • and also the boys have always felt qp to me
  • Anyways
  • no beta we die like Arthur and John at the end of The Wager
  • TW - divorces
  • Other Additional Tags to Be Added

  Summary

  What if Arthur *didn't* have the lighter in Da Capo?

  What if Kayne stole it after The Wager and dropped it off in (drum roll please) the Dark Arthur (Darkthur) timeline??

  Surely the boys couldn't possibly go to the Dark World without it, right? Surely The Manager would have them go get it, riiight??

  But alas, they don't have Arthur's body to go back to! Whatever shall we do!? I know. We do what we should've done a loooong loooooooooooong time ago.

  Put John in a mother fucking cat.

  Well, that's exactly what happens here. Buckle up folks.

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  7,838

  Chapters:

  5/?

  Comments:

  18

  Kudos:

  36

  Bookmarks:

  2

  Hits:

  276

• Presents by Blepppppp

  Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)  

  • Not Rated
  • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
  • Gen
  • Complete Work

  04 Feb 2026

  Tags

  • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
  • Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
  • Original Statement Giver(s) (The Magnus Archives)
  • Basira Hussain
  • Blood and Gore
  • Animal Death
  • Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives)
  • Original Statement (The Magnus Archives)
  • The Hunt Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives)
  • Silly little kitten's silly little murders
  • blood and gore but also some comedy
  • because I'm incapable of keeping things serious
  • improper cat ownership? Lol
  • like the statement giver doesn't make the rational choise when posed with the dilemma of
  • "i love my cat but she might eat me and everyone i love"
  • Crack Fic
  • Absurdist Humour
  • mental breakdowns
  • set around mid season 2 if we're thinking about this too hard
  • Jon actually being kinda nice and helpful for once
  • What Have I Done
  • this is pretty bad please read it
  • author regrets everything
  • Author regrets nothing
  • loose script format
  • me and my unhealthy attachment to italics parentheses dashes and semicolons :)
  • Not Beta Read
  • Not Brit Picked
  • no beta we die like all the animals in this fic lol
  • i promise I'm not a psychopath

  Summary

  Statement of April Kipling, regarding the unusual prey brought home by her pet cat. Statement recorded direct from subject, (some date around early to mid season 2). Statement begins.

   

  Or, every cat owner knows the joys of coming home to find a dead mouse in their home. April just knows this feeling... a little *too* well.

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  4,350

  Chapters:

  1/1

  Comments:

  6

  Kudos:

  10

  Hits:

  66