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The Art of Getting Off by viwrites for peaceinpanem
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Aug 2025
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Summary
Regulus is a demisexual romance author who has one big hangup: Smut. After a mountain of bad reviews on his latest novel, an awkward meeting with his publisher, and a conversation with Remus, he decides to take the leap. Unfortunately the only person he really wants to sleep with is James Potter.
Alternative title: "The art of fucking your brother's best friend six ways from Sunday without falling in love in the process."
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Summary
Regulus sighs, admitting defeat and letting his eyes trail up from the pages of his book. Just as he does, James repeats the trick he’s attempted four times already; one where he twists and jumps on his board simultaneously, his shirt lifting just above his ribs each time he tries - and fails.
Like he can feel Regulus’ eyes, James looks his way and instinctively Regulus scowls and looks back at the pages of his book, rereading the same line once again....
Or. James is a 2000s skater boy and Regulus is a bookworm with a crush on his brother's best friend.
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"Don't worry, I won't stop you from doing what you need to do." James says earnestly, placing a kiss upon his palm.
Regulus shudders at the contact.
"You’re wrong. There was one other thing that I was honest about."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." It's his turn to lean in— "I want you, James. So fucking bad. So why don't you cut this bullshit, and fuck me like your life depends on it—because trust me, it does."
Or, When Honeytrap!Regulus Black was sent out to assassinate accidental mob boss (don't ask) James potter, he made sure to plan for the worst. What he didn't anticipate however, was the fact that this so-called scary guy was an absolute blubbering fool that was too respectful to even touch him!
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Regulus had worked his entire life to earn a spot at Juilliard in their ballet program, but the one day that he was late to class, he's forced to teach the Columbia football team their monthly ballet lesson as penance.
Barty only wanted two things in his life: to be a professional dancer and to be accepted by his family. He hadn't realized that by achieving one dream, he would be disowned by his father. Despite his full ride scholarship to Juilliard, he still needed a way to survive, so he used the one thing he knew best: his charismatic charm to make rich men do whatever he wanted.
Pandora had dreamed since she was a little girl of becoming a prima ballerina, but when her ankle is injured a few weeks before her debut lead role, the only way to fulfill her dream was to go through arduous physical therapy.
Three best friends navigate life, love, and all of the messy in-betweens together.
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Summary
James Potter’s life is a disaster. Divorced, disoriented, and trying to hold things together with an overexuberant preschooler, he’s doing everything he can to keep his small world from completely unraveling.
Regulus Black is supposed to be a ghost: long gone, long forgotten. Instead, he’s quietly rebuilding his life under a new name, babysitting his nephew to make rent, and avoiding the past like it’s contagious.
When Harry and Draco become fast friends James and Regulus are thrown together in a way neither of them expects.
A story about second chances, fractured families, and the quiet, complicated work of starting over.

