Dont_Despair
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“I met a lady on the call the other day, the one I pulled out of the other unit… she said she was psychic and then started talking about granting wishes. It all sounded so ridiculous, but I-I think she did something to me. I know I sound crazy, but I think I have to do whatever people tell me to.”
Buck jerks back, stands to his full height, and Eddie sees the last twenty-four hours playing through his eyes in perfect clarity, without one second of doubt. Buck believes him, instantly, wholly, without question, and Eddie suffocates the sob in his throat.
“Oh, Eddie, you’re…” Buck says, “wait, is that why you were giving that guy your number?”
“That’s your question?” He gasps through a laugh, and it’s wet and dangerous.
“Yes,” Buck says, without an ounce of remorse.
OR
Eddie gets the Ella Enchanted treatment.
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Bookmarked by Dont_Despair
16 Aug 2025
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Buck probably thinks Eddie’s freezing up because he’s remembering the time before Buck, except he isn’t, because he can’t. Buck came along and redefined what it means to touch, to be touched.
And Eddie doesn’t know to explain that. He doesn’t know how to split the whole thing into parts.
How to say: I want you more than I have ever wanted anything. I want you close, and here, and always.
I don’t know how to let you take what I want you to have.
in which eddie can almost, almost let himself have everything with buck. it takes one google invite, one therapist, and a never-ending series of stops and starts to figure out why the almosts keep happening.
(a coda to tell me about despair.)
Series
- Part 2 of tell me about despair
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Bookmarked by Dont_Despair
26 May 2025
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“I think the fact that you’re still making this about Eddie is all the answer you need about Tommy.” Bobby’s tone shifts to something sterner, more severe. “You’re being selfish, here, and from the sounds of it – you’ve done enough of that.”
It stings, and Buck knows it needs to sting. Because he deserves it. Because he is. Because he’s barely thought about Tommy and the fact that he cheated on him – that their entire relationship may have just been an excuse for Buck not to face that he’s in love with his best friend.
Even if he can’t have Eddie…
But that’s the thing, that’s what he can’t get past – why he can’t move, why he’s paralyzed in this spot, erupting and erupting, sending shrapnel into anything in his path. Because he can’t get past that – can’t get past if he can’t have Eddie.
Because if he can’t have Eddie, what’s the point?
OR
Buck explains things, to everyone.
Series
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Bookmarked by Dont_Despair
25 Apr 2025
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Buck doesn’t take his hands off Eddie’s shoulders as he glances over to Athena and Nash, who are watching the display calibrate. “How’d we do?”
“See for yourself,” Athena says.
Bad, Eddie thinks.
But he can’t read her – doesn’t know what it’s going to say. For all he knows, he’s going to look up and the words Eddie Diaz Should Be Dead will be flashing across the screen. He half-expects it.
He wants to brace Buck for it, for the disappointment – wants to explain that whatever has screwed his compatibility scores till now, this one is all on Eddie.
“Oh, shit…” Buck whispers.
Eddie lifts his head, finally lets himself look, and then takes an inhale so sharp he tastes blood.
Oh, shit.
OR
the pacific rim au
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Bookmarked by Dont_Despair
24 Feb 2025
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you're the reason i came (you're the reason i stayed) by literalmetaphor
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
17 Feb 2025
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Eddie shifts his weight a few times. “What does that mean?”
This could go a lot of ways. If this is Buckley, and Eddie’s pretty sure it is, it could lead to him hanging this over his head, trying to get sex out of it, and honestly – Eddie’s slept with people for less. And Eddie could do, has done, a lot worse.
He would hate being strong-armed into sex, but he’s been strong-armed into it before, and this guy, well, it’s not like he hasn’t thought about it.
“Um,” is all the answer Eddie gets.
And then there’s this meandering, endless pause, where the guy stands there and just… stares at him. Eddie can’t decide if it’s awkward or if they are slipping back into creepy. “What’s with the staring?”
“Sorry!” Sleeves immediately jerks his eyes away, then scratches the back of his head before he looks back at Eddie and snaps away again. “It’s just – uh, it’s weird, seeing you, um, without the…”
Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Handcuffs?”
OR
Eddie works at a strip club, and Buck's a very frequent customer.
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Bookmarked by Dont_Despair
21 Feb 2025