Essence111
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It’s 1991 in New York City. 17-year-old ballet prodigy Ash Lynx thought that agreeing to star in a charity show for AIDS awareness would be a break from the hard pace of his career. But as the “Swan Queen” in an all-male version of “Swan Lake,” Ash is uncharacteristically detached from his character. Odette is a tragedy; cursed to be swan, torn away from her one true love, killing herself to be with him in death.
Ash can’t relate to the self-victimization.
Things only get more complicated when 19-year-old Japanese photographer, Eiji Okumura, comes onto the scene, poking into Ash’s life with an insatiable curiosity, trying to help Ash reconnect with his muse.
As Ash feels the pressure from his head manager and guardian, the impossible to please Dino Golzine, and is running out of places to hide from the darker, uglier parts of his past and present, Ash Lynx has to start asking the same questions as Eiji.
Does he want to live like he’s in a ballet or dance to the beat of his own drum?~ ~ ~
Or, in which the author uses Swan Lake as an overt metaphor for Ash and Eiji's tragic love (with a fix-it ending)
Bookmarked by Essence111
28 Nov 2025
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You don't need to understand feelings to feel them. by chaos101
Fandoms: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
07 May 2021
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Ash Lynx’s soulbond broke beyond repair when he was 9 years old.
And he can live with this normal fucking family and go to this normal fucking high school and pretend to be normal all he wants, but everyone knows. They see the scar on his hand where his soulmark should be, and they know he’s broken, even if they don’t know how.
Ash Lynx's soulbond is broken. Eiji Okumura's isn't. High school soulmate AU!
- Language:
- English
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- 36,912
- Chapters:
- 18/18
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Bookmarked by Essence111
25 Nov 2025
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The box in the corner of the room is slit open, cardboard and duct tape gaping into a hole that just distorts the printed black letters: Cape Cod, 2007.
“Ash?” Eiji starts, but Ash cuts him off.
“I was so small,” he says, voice almost a sob. “I was so small.”
Bookmarked by Essence111
17 Nov 2025
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"... Can I do anything for you?" Ash asks.
Ash's voice is just a little too tight, too high, too childish, and Eiji knows.
"You don't need to do anything for me!" Eiji says brightly. "You never need to do anything for me. Love." He adds the endearment at the end, silently pleading for Ash to snap out of the mindset that so easily traps him.
Eiji understands. He gets like that too, sometimes, after a nightmare or just a day of thinking too hard. He gets in those times where he feels useless, where he desperately wants to be worth something—to Ash, to anyone. He can't imagine what it would be like after over seventeen years of that feeling.
And he knows that Ash doesn't have to imagine.
Reciprocity.
Bookmarked by Essence111
17 Nov 2025
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"Ash did wonder though, could it be different with someone he trusted? Someone he loved?
He knew that sex was something good to most people, knew that some considered it an act of love, and trust. Something about being closer. Something about sharing yourself- entirely, mutually -to be cherished by the other.
He did want that sometimes; he wanted to be closer to Eij than just a tight hug. It felt like he wanted to be the blood in his veins, the air he breathed into his lungs."Ash struggles with navigating physical intimacy and identifying his own limits.
Bookmarked by Essence111
16 Nov 2025