HannaJ



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    "Can you teach me?" His voice is smaller than he would like, timid almost but he can't help it. He remembers the stories of bandits, how they prey on weakness in an instant. Despite his grandmother's shrieked warnings blaring in his mind like alarm bells, he doesn't feel that from the man standing before him.

    "Teach you what, sweetheart?" Alex drawls in that honeyed tone only used when they're alone, raising his flask to his lips and taking a long swig.

    "How to fuck?"

    Alex's resounding splutter echoes throughout the canyon, making an owl screech and fly away from its perch while Henry can only stare at the sharp line of his jaw.

    Henry Fox has resolved himself to live a quiet life, forever firmly held under his grandmother's thumb, never able to spread his wings and flourish; and he is fine with this.

    Yet, when their home is ransacked by bandits he finds himself at the forefront of the massacre, faced with whiskey-coloured eyes and a smooth timbre, warming him from the inside out when he has always felt like ice. So, of course, he does the only logical thing a human can do in this situation.

    He offers himself up for ransom.

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    Language:
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    70,012
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    27 Dec 2025

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    “I have a proposition for you.”

    Henry tries not to think about those words in another context and ultimately fails. He schools his expression into something more civil, “Right. What is it?”

    Alex appears to be straining so hard to not roll his eyes that it’s surprising he hasn’t given himself a hernia, “Date me.”

    “Excuse -”

    “Pretend. Pretend to date me.”

    Henry Fox is certain of four key facts; he needs at least four vodka shots to be able to stomach karaoke, his best friend Pez may be the earliest cause of his inevitable demise and he is sadly, deeply in love with his next-door neighbour who hates his guts.

    The fourth is that the universe is out to get him as that is the only explanation for why said neighbour demands that they pretend to date, so he can prove to his sister that he is mature enough to be godfather to her child.

    Wait until he finds out their hotel room only has one bed.

    Language:
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    4/4
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    14 Dec 2025

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    Henry laughs, wiggling his fingers as he reaches for the bottle before taking a sip of his own, “Fine. Never have I ever…been walked in on during sex.”

    Alex shakes his head with a shudder, “I’ve walked in on too many people. Door stays locked.”

    “Wise man.”

    Alex taps his fingers against his chin, pursing his lips. His expression falters for a moment, eyes shooting over to glance at Henry before returning to stare out the window, “Never have I ever…had sex in a treehouse.”

    Neither of them drink.

    “Huh.” Alex says, eyes unreadable, “Do you want to?”

    Henry has made many mistakes in life - most notably allowing Pez to talk him into an ill-advised keg stand that made him vomit all over his shirt - but he can’t bring himself to regret sleeping with Alex Claremont Diaz, campus' most renowned player.

    Until Alex gets it into his head that he wants seconds, and Henry isn’t strong enough to not get feelings, so he does what he does best. He pushes him away.

    But Alex isn’t one to give up easily.

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    14 Dec 2025

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    Henry has been in love with his roommate and best friend since the moment they met, caught in the rain outside their college apartment. Over the next four years he learns everything there is to know about Alex Claremont Diaz, what makes him tick.

    He knows his coffee order, the meaning behind how he narrows his eyes one way versus a slightly different way. He knows how to make him finish in under thirty seconds (“That was one fucking time, sweetheart!”)

    If only he could have him, wholeheartedly, not just the friends with benefits arrangement they have stumbled into.

    (He already has him, he just doesn’t have a fucking clue)

    Language:
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    13 Dec 2025

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    Henry and Alex have been best friends since high school and maybe something more. (If either of them would actually do anything about it.) Enter Pez, who's had enough of watching his best mate pine.

    Armed with charm, chaos, and a foolproof plan he's dubbed Operation: Claremont-Diaz Collapse, Pez is determined to get Henry into Alex's bed. Four steps. Zero shame. What could possibly go wrong?

    "He doesn't flirt like that with anyone else," Pez went on. "He doesn't call me baby. He doesn't kiss my hair. He's not testing the water anymore-he's waist-deep, waiting for you to jump."
    Henry's hands curled into fists against his knees.
    "I don't know how."

    Pez didn't flinch. He smiled-slow and sharp, a cat with a canary. "Oh, sweet Hazza. Then buckle up.
    Class is in session."

    Language:
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    7/7
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    07 Dec 2025