HeadlessThompsonGunner



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    Ilya looks over from the sofa as Jackie heads into the living room, perking up in interest. “You are calling Pike? Was good play today. You remembered how to score! Well done.”

    Hayden groans. "Rozanov? Dude, what are you doing in my fucking house?

    "It is girls' night," Ilya informs him primly. "I am one of girls."

    Or: Game day at the Pike house.

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    23 Dec 2025

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    “Brutally honest,” Jamie says, as if he’s still trying to get the point across. “No more secrets.”

    Roy stares at him. “Yes. I know what words mean.”

    “Okay,” Jamie says, and then he says, “I talked to Keeley about maybe being bisexual because that night we fought over her I wasn’t just jealous about her.”

    Or: Roy Kent finds himself in a situation. Fuck everyone, and Jamie Tartt in particular (gently, on soft sheets, all night long – ugh).

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    01 Nov 2025

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    “My doctor thinks dual cultivation would help. Sexual dual cultivation.” Nie Mingjue puffs out his now reddened cheeks, “Specifically as the party being penetrated. It — it helps for the energy exchange to be closer to the golden core, apparently.” He clears his throat. “More efficient that way. Theoretically it would have better and faster results than Song of Cleansing.”

    Jin Guangyao’s ears are ringing. He’s distantly aware that his mouth is hanging open. He stares at Nie Mingjue, trying to process if he really just said what he thought he said. Slowly, he turns his head to look at Lan Xichen who — yes, Nie Mingjue definitely just said that, because Lan Xichen’s ears are bright red and he’s blinking rapidly, his own jaw dropped.

    Nie Mingjue is asking to be fucked in the ass. For medical reasons.

    –//–

    Three virgins with communication issues attempt to do sex magic. It goes about as well as you might expect.

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    20 Mar 2024

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    This is the fiction in which Rain is convinced Payu is up to something.

    **Spoiler Alert**: He is.

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    20 Feb 2024

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    “Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

    “I think so,” Sizhui says.

    “To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

    “Yes,” Sizhui says.

    “So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

    Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

    (Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

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    09 Feb 2024