Jkkie



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    It used to worry Shane. In the early days of their heated rivalry, where the line between fucking and frenemies had started to get shaky and blurred, he used to lie awake at night wondering what Ilya saw in him.

    If he used to lurk in the murky depths of online gossip columns to read about Boston Raiders Captain Ilya Rozanov’s latest speculated flings with supermodels and upcoming song writing prodigies; well, that information was between him and his internet cookies and that’s where it was going to stay.

    It was hard not to compare himself though. All of Ilya’s previous known partners (and there were many of them) were tall, razor thin and packing a stunning pair of perfectly round elevated breasts.

    Shane has none of these qualities. He’s not particularly tall - at least by the standards of ice hockey players - he’s stocky, and he is pretty positive that he does not possess a rack.

    And yet.

    And yet, Ilya cannot seem to keep his hands away from Shane’s chest.

    __

     
    Shane notices Ilya's obsession with his chest. He decides to go along for the ride.

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    31 Dec 2025

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    His father would accuse him of being weak, of letting his heart lead him to stupid places. But for once in his life, Ilya can’t bring himself to care about this. He wants Shane. He wants to coax his boyfriend into ordering takeout from that place they like around the corner from Ilya’s apartment and cheating on his diet a little. Then he wants to blow him on the couch, and he wants Shane to ride him. They can shower afterwards and put some highlights on the TV before falling asleep and ignoring Shane’s alarm the next morning. He wants the peace they had at the cottage during the season, to steal those moments and get to exhale.

    --
    Inspired by this tweet by @paulasoldestson: ilya actually love having a strict boyfriend. like no his bitch do not let him have friends NO he not allowed to be out past 11 and NO U CANNOT SIT HERE!!!

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    30 Dec 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    29 Dec 2025

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    So, in Russia, it is not Christmas yet. It is not yet a lot of things in Russia. That’s good, Ilya thinks. Maybe there, it’s still some earlier version of him. Maybe somewhere, in some parallel alignment of days and months, he is still the captain of the Boston Raiders. Maybe he hasn’t been traded yet. Maybe he hasn’t packed up his life and moved continents and switched languages. Maybe he’s still wearing familiar colors, still answering to a city that knows his name and chants it like it's both a prayer and a promise. Ilya. Ilya. Ilya. Maybe he hasn’t become a Centaur yet. Maybe the future has not yet caught up to Ilya Rozanov there.

    --- Ilya spends his second Christmas in Shane's cottage, and contemplates the idea of home, grief, and what it means to speak a language.

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    28 Dec 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 80

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    “Mama,” he says, bringing the cigarette to his lips. “You have been worried about me. I know.”

    The smoke in his throat is so familiar. When he breathes out, it's already jagged. "I wanted to tell you that you don't have to be. Not anymore."

    (Or: after waking early one morning at the cottage, Ilya goes down to the water to talk to his mother.)

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    28 Dec 2025