Kayleethebird
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Sick of hearing Hermione’s pining without doing anything about it, Ginny charms a bit of mistletoe to freeze Hermione until she kisses the longtime object of her affections—only the spell goes a little wonky.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,896
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 201
- Kudos:
- 948
- Bookmarks:
- 212
- Hits:
- 7,679
Bookmarked by Kayleethebird
29 Dec 2025
-
Tags
Summary
This time it was Draco's cheeks that flushed, but he held her gaze. "In bed - I like a woman to be extremely… wet. The wetter the better. Dripping, literally, would be my ideal. I find the idea of it incredibly sexy. Plus, it would help with...."
Hermione looked quizzically at him.
"Not to sound egotistical. But I'm not small."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,857
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 218
- Kudos:
- 1,910
- Bookmarks:
- 347
- Hits:
- 37,832
Bookmarked by Kayleethebird
28 Dec 2025
-
Tags
Summary
Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.
After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.
Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.
Series
- Part 2 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 172,892
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 5,685
- Kudos:
- 3,679
- Bookmarks:
- 1,171
- Hits:
- 168,061
Bookmarked by Kayleethebird
27 Nov 2025
-
One Thousand Ways to Fall in Love by slytherin_prince27
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Sep 2021
Tags
Summary
Draco Malfoy has never uttered the words "I love you" to a single woman, but he knows how Hermione Granger takes her coffee and that she can't go a day without devouring a pumpkin scone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,597
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 627
- Kudos:
- 8,249
- Bookmarks:
- 3,097
- Hits:
- 396,793
Bookmarked by Kayleethebird
19 Nov 2025
-
Tags
Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,379
- Kudos:
- 29,982
- Bookmarks:
- 11,901
- Hits:
- 1,791,120
Bookmarked by Kayleethebird
15 Oct 2025