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After a disastrous second year, Harry decides that he no longer wishes to attend Hogwarts. He's been vilified for being a parselmouth, and Dumbledore doesn't seem particularly concerned about the students' safety - and that's not to mention Harry almost dying at the hands (or teeth!) of a basilisk. With neither Hogwarts nor Privet Drive as a safe haven, Harry takes off and disappears. What happens when the Golden Boy is finally found - and he's no longer a naïve, impressionable twelve-year-old seeking love and approval from others?
(currently being edited - chapter 1 07/10/23)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 108,010
- Chapters:
- 21/?
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 1,294
- Kudos:
- 7,072
- Bookmarks:
- 2,399
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Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
02 Jan 2024
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An alibi gets out of hand
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
30 Dec 2023
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It's a slow news morning at ZNN and Tony's new team has recently been in the limelight...
Continuation of upsetting the status quo
Series
- Part 2 of Status Changes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 47,018
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 261
- Kudos:
- 1,003
- Bookmarks:
- 124
- Hits:
- 45,555
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
29 Dec 2023
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Tony is at a point in his life when he needs to tell his friends, especially Gibbs, the truth about who he really is. When Tony spends Christmas with Gibbs, it is with great trepidation that he reveals his long-kept secret. Gibbs' reaction is not at all what he expects.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,124
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 112
- Kudos:
- 1,306
- Bookmarks:
- 307
- Hits:
- 32,945
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
28 Dec 2023
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- Words:
- 24,138
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 211
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
27 Dec 2023
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My Eyes Choose to Blur (and my body unwinds) by FaeryQueen07
Fandoms: Live Free or Die Hard
05 Jun 2012
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For the past twenty-three and a half years, Matt Farrell has been hiding what he is from everyone he knows, save the odd friend or two. Discovering, at the tender age of thirteen, that he was gay wouldn’t have been so upsetting if he didn’t already have to deal with being a low-ranking werewolf as well. But just as Matt resigned himself to a life of solitude, bigger-than-life John McClane blows into his life, and after that, nothing is the same, not even Matt.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
27 Dec 2023
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These inconvenient fireworks (Oh, if you only knew just what a fool you have made me) by Blutmondlilie
Fandoms: Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch
10 Jul 2025
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The small comfort of a work routine between Peter and Nightingale is shattered when their colleagues suddenly behave strangely at a crime scene, which needlessly complicates the Met's upcoming New Year's Eve party and forces Peter to come to terms with his feelings.
Series
- Part 4 of Sometimes I Like to Pretend
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
26 Dec 2023
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Foreign diplomats arrive in Ankh-Morpork with the (apparent) aim of establishing peaceful relations. However, it’s a ruse. Who would have guessed The Legion of Benevolent Nations would instigate a miliary coup? Vetinari. Vetinari guessed that.
Confined and awaiting an uncertain fate as prisoners in the palace, Vetinari and Vimes have little else to do but strategize their next moves.
... And decide who gets to use the bed.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
26 Dec 2023
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“Sorry I'm late, don, got a little carried away returning to these halls- always was a maze! Sir Felix Ca-ahh.”
He'd lunged forward with a hand outstretched, ready to shake as the professor had straightened up. He turned in his chair lazily, freezing Felix in an awkward, half-bent position with those chilly blue eyes. There was a long moment as Oliver Quick observed him, no expression on his face, before a small smile made his mouth twitch. “It's good to see you, Felix. You look well.”
Felix Catton is a happily married father of three teenagers, approaching 40, and he hasn't seen Oliver since his unfortunate overdose... Everything should be perfect. Everything is perfect.
Until Felix's oldest daughter wants him to smooth things over with her tutor- and he finds himself face-to-face with Professor Oliver Quick. He's older. Wiser. Sensible. He doesn't lie any more.
And so what harm could reconnecting with an old friend do?
Sorry, Lu, but Ollie and I have this very sudden and intense psychosexual thing going on, and if I don't explore it I might go absolutely out of my mind, start clawing at the walls. You understand, don't you, Darling?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 885,733
- Chapters:
- 289/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4,947
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- 3,726
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Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
26 Dec 2023
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I’m up against the wall, two feet from a broken elevator and one foot from a complete stranger, when I realize I’m down to two cigarettes.
He’s shifting from foot to foot, eyes flitting around nervously. Maybe the guy should loosen his damned fancy tie a bit, let some air in. Maybe that’d do his anxiety some good.
Still, it’s great to see another human being—one who isn’t actively trying to kill me. I trust this guy as far as I can throw him, don’t get me wrong, but after all the shit I’ve been through today, maybe I shouldn’t measure by my throwing strength.
But I’m down to two cigarettes, anyhow, and this guy’s got nerves up the wazoo and out the ears.
Call it an olive branch.
--
Or: My favorite scene from Die Hard, but it's just a little gayer than it already is.
Merry christmas!Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
23 Dec 2023
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Some boxes, once opened, are impossible to shut. Or, Snape discovers fanfiction.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
18 Dec 2023
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This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
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London, 1816. Genteel young clerk Harry Potter is blackmailed by the sinfully wicked Severus Snape. By what does Mr Snape truly desire, and what does it take for Harry to know his own heart? This is Regency-style Harry Potter with cock-fighting *wink*, some good old-fashioned duelling and some scandalous lovemaking – plus a dash of spiritual true, true love.
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
18 Dec 2023
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lay me gently in the cold dark earth (no grave can hold my body down) by harperites
Fandoms: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
17 Apr 2022
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There’s a long, heavy moment. For a moment Katniss is entirely convinced that eleven months haven’t actually passed and she’s simply hallucinating Johanna in her kitchen, because she looks the exact same since the last time Katniss saw the older girl, amongst the other Victors at Coin’s meeting. Her shaved head hasn’t grown any further, and there are still purpling, sleepless smudges under Johanna’s flinty eyes. But the rest of her skin is flush with health, and she’s put on weight again, wiry strength easily lining her torso and shoulders.
And then:
“Of course the Mockingjay is a fucking cat person.”
Katniss doesn’t smile. “What are you doing in my house?”
—
or the au where katniss grows together with johanna, not peeta
Series
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
17 Dec 2023
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Severus remembers. Then he forgets.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
16 Dec 2023
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Severus Snape wasn’t supposed to die. Neither was Harry Potter.
Series
- Part 1 of This Time of Ours
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
16 Dec 2023
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Years after she last saw Harry, Petunia and Vernon move back North. During the move, Petunia finds a mysterious box that she's all but forgotten... it stirs too many memories and emotions back to life.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,274
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 66
- Kudos:
- 578
- Bookmarks:
- 96
- Hits:
- 3,951
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
15 Dec 2023
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I love you, Severus wants to say. But the timing is never right.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,856
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 147
- Kudos:
- 636
- Bookmarks:
- 185
- Hits:
- 7,219
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
15 Dec 2023
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People who say they sleep like a baby don't usually have one.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
15 Dec 2023
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It was really all semantics...what difference does it make if you're a prince or a Prince? In some regards, it's an awful lot. In others...not at all.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
15 Dec 2023
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Professor Longbottom converses with Severus Snape's portrait.
Bookmarked by Lady_May_Bird
15 Dec 2023