Lozenge



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    “Where was this in Sochi, huh? Where was this in Las Vegas? You’ve had me every way you could’ve fucking wanted me, made me turn myself inside out with wanting you, with goddamn embarrassing myself all for a fucking shred of your attention, and all of a sudden now that you have decided you want it, what, I have to play along like a good little boy? Fuck you, how about that?”

    There is a moment of ringing, brutal silence. Shane’s chest is heaving like he can’t quite get air in. Rozanov is staring at him across the few feet of space between them, gaze darting across his face quickly. “Las Vegas?” He finally asks, voice sounding smaller than Shane ever thinks he’s heard it. “What are you talking about, Las Vegas?”

    God. Fuck. That’s infinitely worse, that Shane has carried this hurt for all these years and Rozanov - he doesn’t even fucking remember.

    Or,

    Another post-tuna-melt-Shane-stays story.

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    28 Aug 2026

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    Something in Shane’s chest ignites. Fast. Hot. A balloon of burning pressure inflating behind his ribs. For a moment, Shane actually sees red.

    “Don’t worry,” Shane hears himself say, easy, almost pleasant. “It’s chicken. Not dog.”

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    27 Aug 2026

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    Ilya smiled down at Shane and his eyes gleamed with mischief. 

    "You know, Troy is just a few doors down. We could call him over, make it a little party." 

    Shane's eyes snapped open only to narrow again as he glared up at Ilya.

    “Would you like that?”

    “No, I wouldn’t,” Shane snarled. 

    But his face was screwed up in frustrated pleasure. Ilya hummed thoughtfully and pretended to consider. 

    “Perhaps we could make it a competition then.” 

    Shane made an irritated noise and turned his face away. Ilya leaned closer and let his teeth drag down the length of Shane's clenched jaw.

    "You want Troy to see how well you take it, or do you want to see if he's better at riding my cock than you are?" 

    He had been teasing him, pushing at the jealousy that usually made Shane squirm and glare and tell him to shut the fuck up while his traitorous cock twitched and throbbed at how much he secretly liked it. 

    So when Shane did squirm away from him, Ilya followed automatically, pressing their chests flush together. He thought Shane was playing.

    “Get the fuck off me,” Shane spat.
    -

    Shane safewords out of Ilya's teasing about Troy.

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    27 Aug 2026

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    When he releases his grip on Shane’s chin, drags his knuckles along Shane’s jaw, Shane follows the touch, chasing Ilya’s fingers with his mouth.

    Fuck. He is so fucking transparent. So clearly fucking vulnerable. A careless move could break him, and Ilya is not the sort of person who can be trusted with fragile things. People don’t trust him with much at all.

    [Or: five times Shane doesn't use a safeword, and one time Ilya does.]

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    23 Aug 2026

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    Cocaine was somehow everywhere in Shane’s life, at every party, in every pre-season lecture from coaches, in every post-season warning, every wild story the guys told to tempt the rookies into pleasure and scare them into line. And yet, Shane didn’t actually know much about it. He was too chicken, too prudish, maybe. He thought he was too good to ever need to know. Maybe Rozanov was right.

    “Okay.” Ilya’s agreement startled Shane from his thoughts. “My Jane… she is good lay, mm? The best, maybe. And she doesn’t like coke, not even for fun. So, I will not do it. One year. To prove a point and keep her happy. I do not have addiction problem, so will be easy-peazy. And when I win, I will get whatever I want. Okay?”

    -x-

    Or, my Shane and Ilya cocaine thesis

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    16 Aug 2026