MysticPirate
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Toby Oarnot Aphysh, aka Hank, gives us what happened from the other side of those balcony doors and we begin the final descent into Alastor’s loss of sanity.
Or alternatively known as: This author was not going to let Roxa’s pun only exist for/in our Discord thread.
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Alastor: “Well now! Somebody is certainly trying to overcompensate for something!”
This is part 09 of a multi author fanfiction story!In this chapter Vox thinks the King of Hell can do much better than Alastor so he makes his moves to be the Sinner in the fallen angels love life. And the Author geeks out probably more than they should on secret flower language…
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“Hen-tahy.” Angel repeated yet again, slower and overly emphasising the first syllable. Which still did nothing to assist Alastor in parsing out what it meant.
“Ooooo, I think we should talk Roach King into giving us a live demonstration with the ultimate bad boy!”
Or where this author reveals TMI about Valentino’s genitalia, Alastor learns just what hentai is, and Lucifer and Charlie have a heart to heart in the midst of all the chaos.
Despite this summary, this chapter really is safe for teen and up audiences. 😅
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There’s lately been a new thing, dynamic happening between Husk and Alastor and Angel isn’t onboard with Overlords taking sexual advantage of those whom they literally own. Can Angel help Husk when he’s unable to help himself out of his own situation with Val?
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Alastor: Hell’s Unprecedented Resident by MysticPirate
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
25 Oct 2024
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Dying a virgin is supposed to be a get into Heaven free card… so what sins exactly did a virgin have to acquire to land them in Hell?
OR
The muse compelled me to write after this alternative scenario wouldn’t leave my head and I couldn’t find it already pre written: “What if after witnessing Alastor go full Eldritch Horror on the loan sharks Mimzy lured to the hotel Lucifer decides to be over protective dad and summons Alastor’s sinner files before leaving which leads to the discovery that Alastor died a virgin. Which Lucifer didn’t even know that it was possible for a virgin to get into Hell! What the Fuck is happening here!?!”
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Alastor should have registered when he first presented, his name and details added to the list advertising available Omegas throughout the kingdom. At twenty-four, he should’ve been servicing Alphas for six or seven years already.
He wasn’t small or soft or pretty. He was tall, thin, and calloused. After the initial contract for his virginity, he’d become a means to an end for poorer Alphas and spend his next twenty or so years warming their beds until his whelp rearing days passed.
Registering now was the only one way he could make enough money to save his mother.
He just hoped she forgave him for it.
AKA
Omegas, the only secondary gender able to give birth, are a rare and precious resource. As a result, the Crown created the Omega Registry for Alphas to bid on their heats in the hopes of producing an heir. Alastor has spent his whole life pretending to be a beta, but outs himself when his mother falls gravely ill in order to save her life.
He never expected his virgin contract to go to King Lucifer Morningstar, let alone for the king to want to keep him.
Completed: 11/11/25
- Language:
- English
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- 49,592
- Chapters:
- 10/10
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- 291
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- 1,325
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Bookmarked by MysticPirate
03 Nov 2025
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One thing Alastor has learned over his decades in Hell: when Rosie gets bored, he never quite knows how the rest of his day will go.
Case in point:
"Rosie, what in blazes are you wearing."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,729
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
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- 54
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- 10
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- 301
Bookmarked by MysticPirate
31 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
My drawing muse is inspired by, but I can’t doodle right now.
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Hanging around Charlie and company has done awful things to Husk’s ability to remain in his preferred state of apathy. For the most part, he finds he doesn’t mind as much anymore, until the day he realizes Alastor is hiding wounds from them, and the compulsion to do something about it stands in firm contrast to his hatred for the man who stripped him of everything he’d once had.
He doesn’t care about him.
So why is he going through all this trouble?
(A-Side)
Series
- Part 1 of Post Season Mix
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Charlie thinks that the hotel's guest and staff could benefit from having a little more music in their afterlives. Alastor is ecstatic to have the opportunity to expand the array of instruments he can play.
And then he discovers the most awful, wonderful, baffling instrument he's ever seen.
Series
- Part 6 of Alastor Week
Bookmarked by MysticPirate
02 Aug 2025
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The Family You Choose (is better?) by number1trashenthusiast
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
15 Nov 2025
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Lilith has returned. She has all the cards in her hands and Alastor's invisible leash wrapped around her perfect fingers - but no one who has played poker with Alastor would suggest counting him out before the game is over.
Alastor has faced some of the greatest evils that have ever existed - has stood firm in back alleys against overlords stronger than him, has several times dodged exorcist spears and even divine guitars.
He is NOT going to be defeated by a fucking HOTEL ROOM and the desperate housewife from HELL.
Alternative summary: Alastor spends a sizeable amount of time locked in single combat with a hotel room door, Vaggie grows as a person, Lucifer Morningstar is Very Concerned that his ex-wife and current-whatever may be getting along too well, Charlie spends a lot of time being confused, Frederick von Eldrich comes out of retirement with style, the Archangel Michael develops a headache, and Vox attempts to de-bug his conscience.
There are also copious musical references for no good reason whatsoever.
Series
- Part 2 of The Friends that Ruin You
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 159,123
- Chapters:
- 20/?
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- 1,101
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- 1,149
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- 177
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Bookmarked by MysticPirate
30 Jul 2025