Owlsnestart
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Summary
Hermione Granger wasn’t planning to offer to deflower her colleague and friend, Draco Malfoy. Nor did she expect him to accept the odd proposal.
Now, they're drafting sex agendas, negotiating terms and limits, and scheduling orgasms like it's one of their curse-breaking Ministry projects. It's strictly professional (of course), except Draco is painfully hot in that nerdy way, tragically inexperienced, and has these eyeglasses that should be illegal.
Seven days. One thirty-year-old virgin. Zero chance of staying just friends.
Series
- Part 1 of The Agenda Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 105,212
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 317
- Kudos:
- 1,399
- Bookmarks:
- 571
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- 54,720
Bookmarked by Owlsnestart
09 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Nice jumper, Granger,” Blaise commented, wiggling his eyebrows once at Malfoy, who responded with a two-finger salute and kept walking.
“Oi Draco. Didn’t realize you and Granger shared a favorite Quidditch team,” called Theo, his tone sly and teasing.
Hermione brushed off their comments, assuming they were just giving Malfoy a hard time as Slytherins were wont to do.
“It’s Ron’s,” she sing-songed back to the irritating Slytherins with whom she’d actually become rather friendly, granting them an eye roll, missing the sudden expression of distressed understanding cross over Malfoy’s face.
Or
Hermione borrows Ron’s jumper with surprising results. The Falmouth Falcons are his favorite team, right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,504
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 84
- Kudos:
- 1,564
- Bookmarks:
- 285
- Hits:
- 18,932
Bookmarked by Owlsnestart
01 Aug 2025
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Summary
She wore that Granger expression, the one that said she was going to bully someone into something. Draco had a bad feeling it was about to be him. “I’ll marry you,” Hermione said.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not doing it for free. I marry you, then after a year we divorce and you agree to fund S.P.E.A.M.B. In perpetuity.”
“Out of the question.”
“It’s just one year. We would both get what we want.”
“Contracted marriages require consummation,” he said, adding a leer for good measure.
Granger had gotten more attractive since their Hogwarts days, he would give her that much. Her jumper was atrocious, though. He had half a mind to burn it.
To his everlasting shock, she merely shrugged. “It’s just sex. I’ve had it before and I presume you have too.”
She was utterly serious. Draco stared at her and contemplated being married to her. She was irritating and he might make her promise to never wear that jumper again, but it was better than the alternative.
Draco would do just about anything to avoid being poor.
“You’re serious?”
“Completely.”
“Then congratulations, Granger. You've got yourself a husband.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,105
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 1,889
- Kudos:
- 10,653
- Bookmarks:
- 2,853
- Hits:
- 296,302
Bookmarked by Owlsnestart
24 Jun 2025
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Summary
“I need you to have sex with me.”
Draco stared at her, sure he had misheard. “Pardon?”
Hermione looked up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “I have it on good— I have heard— oh bloody hell,” she muttered. “I’m bad in bed. I need practice.”
His lungs had entirely stopped working. “Practice,” he repeated dully.
“Yes, practice.”
“At sex.”
“At sex.”
“And you came to me why?”
“Because what else are we going to do here this month?”
Series
- Part 1 of call it what you want
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,965
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 1,791
- Kudos:
- 8,422
- Bookmarks:
- 2,574
- Hits:
- 231,687
Bookmarked by Owlsnestart
16 Jun 2025
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Summary
She opens it to find Draco Malfoy, holding Crookshanks in one hand and his latest lurid collar in the other.
“Malfoy?”
She’s wearing her pyjamas: ratty old flannel trousers and a faded top with a hole at the hem.
“So it is your bloody cat, then.”
Or: the one where Crookshanks keeps bringing Hermione… tokens of affection (dead mice and Draco Malfoy).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,187
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 72
- Kudos:
- 954
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 5,825
Bookmarked by Owlsnestart
25 May 2025