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Everything A Decent Death Eater Needs To Know About Britain's Most Belovedly Feared Dark-Lord-Who-Definitely-Isn't-Back
as reported to you by Harry J. Potter, the Boy-Who-KnowsHarry needs a hobby. Luna offers to show him the ropes in investigative journalism. — In other words: Luna Lovegood is Luna Lovegood, Harry is so done with the Wizarding World, Ron is along for the ride, and Hermione really doesn't have time to stop Harry from becoming a Dark Lord.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,807
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 844
- Kudos:
- 6,003
- Bookmarks:
- 2,338
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- 79,401
Bookmarked by PartyTurtle
19 Dec 2025
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Being a neutral party is easy when you don't give a shit about what happens. Harry doesn't mind the war around him, so long as it doesn't affect his life or his learning. As far as Harry's concerned, the war wasn't his problem.
He's practically Switzerland.
Featuring:
- Ravenclaw red-haired Harry Potter
- Neutral Harry who doesn't take shit from anyone
- Harry growing up with Voldemort hanging around as a wraith like some kind of menacing babysitterSeries
- Part 1 of I'm Switzerland - Over The Years
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,971
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,255
- Kudos:
- 5,098
- Bookmarks:
- 1,569
- Hits:
- 119,960
Bookmarked by PartyTurtle
19 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!”
“Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now”.
And Lily Potter stepped aside.
Voldemort stared at her.
“... Is this some sort of trick?” he asked softly.
“No". Her voice was flat, lifeless. “You already killed James... If you let me live, then you can have Harry”.
Voldemort’s lip curled - not in amusement, but disgust. His own mother had died for him. Pathetic, yes, sentimental and foolish - but she had chosen to die so that he could live. Lily Potter wasn’t even choosing to care. Surely the child of prophecy deserved a better mother than this! Even he could give the boy to a better family to be raised right!
Voldemort slowly reached down and picked up the child.
He was still staring at him. He was still oddly silent. His eyes were still the colour of the Killing curse and brimming with power.
Yes, Voldemort decided, that was exactly what he’d do.
"You belong to me now" he whispered.
And with a crack like thunder, he turned on the spot, vanishing into the night.Or, the one where Harry Potter is raised by the Lestranges and it goes more or less how you would expect.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,139
- Chapters:
- 27/?
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 1,127
- Kudos:
- 4,838
- Bookmarks:
- 1,628
- Hits:
- 135,609
Bookmarked by PartyTurtle
19 Dec 2025
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Beloved. Chosen. Soulmates. by Ramabear (RyMagnatar)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 May 2024
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At eight years old, the strange splotch of color on Harry's arm transforms into a skull with a snake curled around it. That alone would be odd enough to make Harry a strange, freakish boy.
But then the snake begins to speak.
Following his soul mark's guidance, Harry abandons the world he grew up in for the new, fantastic world of magic. He imagines a future with his soulmate, one filled with wonderous magic, food and clothing aplenty, and, most importantly, a large, loving family.
He just needs to find his soulmate and have him get with the program. It can't be that hard, can it?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,373
- Chapters:
- 28/?
- Collections:
- 18
- Comments:
- 1,654
- Kudos:
- 5,269
- Bookmarks:
- 1,991
- Hits:
- 139,617
Bookmarked by PartyTurtle
18 Dec 2025
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Summary
In which the Sorting is less of a choice between Dark and Light and more of a fashion statement, Gryffindors are more than reckless, bumbling fools, and Slytherins aren't the only ones playing politics.
Because you didn't actually believe that life is so straightforward as to be defined solely by the colour of a tie, did you? Hidden in plain sight, in the one house they least expected, Harry Potter becomes what he was always meant to be.
Hogwarts beware, the Dark Lord's equal is rising!
Series
- Part 1 of War is for Children
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,883
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 359
- Kudos:
- 5,593
- Bookmarks:
- 1,187
- Hits:
- 81,808
Bookmarked by PartyTurtle
17 Dec 2025