Queen_Beanie
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Harry is a romance novelist with an incredible following, so incredible that he actually requires a personal bodyguard on occasion. Merlin is the man hired for the job.
Harry thinks Merlin is disrespectful and that he looks down on the job Harry loves. Merlin doesn't get the big deal about romance novels, but he soon understands what everyone sees in Harry.
Bookmarked by Queen_Beanie
21 Aug 2025
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Summary
Harry Hart should not be allowed within fifty feet of tiny runty puppies because he loses all reason. When he finds an abandoned teacup schnauzer searching for food in the bins, he immediately decides he’s going to be its mother and brings it home to love forever. Obviously he doesn’t stop to consider the fact that he’s out of the country more often than not so all the actual looking after is going to fall on Merlin, who has a deep disdain for people who make their dogs wear clothes and thinks anything smaller than a wolfhound is basically a pointless rodent.
Meanwhile, Eggsy is floundering on probation after grassing up Dean and his thugs in return for escaping jail time for his part in all their previous criminal activity. Life is feeling pretty bleak and directionless - until he meets a ridiculous eccentric couple and their amazing little dog, and is hired as its nanny.
Contains deeply inappropriate use of the phrases "good boy", "bad boy", and "where’s your squeaky balls?"
- Words:
- 32,269
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 193
Bookmarked by Queen_Beanie
08 Aug 2025
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When Harry Hart loses his job as a tailor after thirty-four years, he decides to start taking evening classes in cookery or life drawing or something just to waste some newly empty hours.
Then he accidentally meets history teacher Gary Unwin, and accidentally signs up for his class instead.
Meanwhile, he's pretty sure he's falling in love via sexts with a man from a dating app whose name he doesn't even know.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,460
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 311
- Kudos:
- 1,152
- Bookmarks:
- 260
- Hits:
- 9,430
Bookmarked by Queen_Beanie
03 Jul 2025
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The Gentleman is Not for Sale (but He is for Rent) by mongoose_bite
Fandoms: Kingsman (Movies)
17 Jan 2023
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RE-UPLOAD
When Michelle won the National Lottery, life became slightly easier for Eggsy, but no less complicated. Their new social circle neither likes nor respects them, despite Michelle's best efforts, and for Eggsy the feeling is mutual. Meeting the toffs up close only confirms what he's always suspected; money does not make you a gentleman.
It does, however, allow you to rent one. An Ossan Rental/Reverse Sugar Daddy AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,087
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 49
- Kudos:
- 277
- Bookmarks:
- 69
- Hits:
- 3,961
Bookmarked by Queen_Beanie
29 Jun 2025
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an ounce of performance by venvephe for Deepdarkwaters
Fandoms: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
12 Apr 2016
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Harry leans in, puts his warm hands on Eggsy’s hips again to steady himself. It feels only natural to loop his arms around Harry’s neck, to follow his lead and tilt his head to the side when Harry’s mouth inches towards his ear.
“Our suite has been bugged,” Harry says softly, only just audible over the rush of water.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,804
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 3,013
- Bookmarks:
- 579
- Hits:
- 39,670
Bookmarked by Queen_Beanie
10 Jun 2025