SarahH87
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Harry Potter and the fact his life can't get more fucked up by Awkwardaxalotl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Jan 2026
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Summary
Harry sees that playing the hero in his first year gets him dumped back at the dursleys with a pat on the back for literally murdering a man and decides fuck it I live like I want now. He goes to gringotts gets an inheritance test finds out he has a reluctant soulmate and that dumbledore is a prick. Shenanigans ensue. This is purely self indulgent and my first attempt at fanfic .
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 113,391
- Chapters:
- 56/?
- Comments:
- 1,528
- Kudos:
- 6,865
- Bookmarks:
- 2,081
- Hits:
- 224,402
Bookmarked by SarahH87
19 Jan 2026
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Summary
When Harry blows up Aunt Marge, Dumbledore decides he can't be left to his own devices in Diagon Alley for the whole of August and sends him to stay with the only person available - one highly displeased Severus Snape. Harry, for his part, doesn't think this summer could get any worse. After all, what could be more unpleasant than living with Professor Snape?
Finding out that Draco Malfoy is also staying at Spinner’s End, of course.
None of them know how they'll survive a month in each others' company, but they might just come out the other side with something they all need the most: a family.
Series
- Part 1 of A Patchwork Family
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 352,357
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 4,972
- Kudos:
- 12,789
- Bookmarks:
- 3,026
- Hits:
- 609,589
Bookmarked by SarahH87
17 Jan 2026
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Summary
Harry is declared Guilty and his wand is snapped the Summer before 5th year.
What does this mean for Harry? -
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Summary
He was smiling. At Tom Riddle. He was going to get murdered before the year ends, he just knows.
Alternate universe/Post-Hogwarts. warnings: mature themes, drinking, swearing. An adult Harry Potter with all his knowledge and experience is transported to his 23yo body in a universe with no war.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 144,088
- Chapters:
- 32/?
- Collections:
- 69
- Comments:
- 4,998
- Kudos:
- 19,931
- Bookmarks:
- 7,399
- Hits:
- 600,089
Bookmarked by SarahH87
14 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
So funny. Harry gets stuck in a different dimension.
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Summary
Griphook sighed, pulling a book from his desk.
“After learning of your entry into the tournament, I requested the bank’s records on the rules,” he explained, flipping through the pages. “Other than death, that is.” The Goblin smirked slightly as he turned the book toward Harry.
‘In the event that the entered Witch/Wizard is pregnant or under a surrogacy contract said Witch/Wizard will be disqualified without risk to her/his magic or life. This clause takes place after the first insemination attempt for surrogacy-’’
“...Are you telling me I can get pregnant?” Harry blinked in disbelief.
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After his unwanted entrance into the Triwizard Tournament Harry will do anything to get out of it. Anything.
This is a story of how one desperate attempt to get out of a contest changes the course of many peoples lives.
Please Read the tags. Don't like, don't read.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,410
- Chapters:
- 22/?
- Comments:
- 1,479
- Kudos:
- 6,928
- Bookmarks:
- 2,528
- Hits:
- 200,584
Bookmarked by SarahH87
10 Jan 2026