Slimetantrum
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hamster of lucky sevens by Anonymous for moonsteps
Fandoms: 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
30 Jun 2020
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“Today,” Hua Cheng announces, barging into He Xuan’s disaster of a room, really another realm fit for Eldritch monsters with the way his eyes refuse to focus entirely in the glow of He Xuan’s four million black-shaded lamps, “gege kissed me. On the cheeks. Both of them. Are you listening?”
“I could’ve been masturbating,” says He Xuan.
“Your dick is small enough that I wouldn’t notice, I’m sure. Like jacking off a little peanut.”
“You—”
Pretending to date Xie Lian is a lot like gambling. Roll on, slot machine. Roll on.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,448
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 182
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Bookmarked by Slimetantrum
12 Apr 2026
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Derek goes to Memphis in search of adventure, self-discovery or whatever.
He finds a diner, instead.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,354
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 37
- Kudos:
- 141
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- 30
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- 2,376
Bookmarked by Slimetantrum
10 Nov 2025
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Ron certainly knows how to recognize obsession when he sees it, thanks to feeling some of the same with Hermione. And he would rather that Harry's obsession with Draco Malfoy end sooner rather than later. Otherwise, Ron's afraid that he’s going to spend the rest of his life hearing about how ugly all of Malfoy's girlfriends are.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,257
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 156
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- 14,663
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Bookmarked by Slimetantrum
12 Jul 2025
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lonely houses off the road by Etharei
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
28 May 2014
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Barnes is now glaring at him for some reason. It's somewhat terrifying but also, oddly, a little reassuring— because that's emotion right there, which means there's still somebody behind those eyes. Somebody who seems to think Sam is being a bit slow on the uptake. "Time parameters exceeded. Mission failed."
"Wait." Sam narrows his eyes. "Is this some kind of... report? Debriefing?"
"Mission report," confirms Barnes, looking pleased. Well, looking slightly less murderous than before.
In which various people deal with things they never signed up for, but at the end of the day no one's particularly surprised.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,454
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 553
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- 22,514
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- 5,617
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- 301,299
Bookmarked by Slimetantrum
01 Jul 2025
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Two Idiots and a Baby by riseofthefallenone
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
21 Aug 2022
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Peter’s roommate bails with little notice before the renewal of their lease. Not wanting to give up the apartment, Peter puts out an ad for a new roommate. He didn’t really expect to end up living with a newborn and her “ex-special forces” father, but… Here they are, and he wouldn’t change a thing about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,235
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 3
- Comments:
- 110
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- 2,398
- Bookmarks:
- 697
- Hits:
- 19,297
Bookmarked by Slimetantrum
10 Dec 2024