SomethingFuhny
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Summary
An Order mission gone terribly, terribly wrong leaves Draco dead and Hermione trapped in a time loop, doomed to relive it. Can she save his life, or is fate a force too strong to fight? War AU. Romance.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,416
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 124
- Kudos:
- 1,109
- Bookmarks:
- 358
- Hits:
- 27,091
Bookmarked by SomethingFuhny
11 Mar 2026
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,505
- Kudos:
- 31,577
- Bookmarks:
- 12,520
- Hits:
- 1,923,073
Bookmarked by SomethingFuhny
23 Feb 2026
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Love In A Time Of The Zombie Apocalypse by rizzlewrites
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Jan 2022
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After Voldemort, there was this. The clock is ticking to create a cure to the unimaginable horror that currently grips the world. Hermione finds herself unwillingly allied with the most hated man in Wizarding Britain. (Alternate ending: 'La Vie En Rose', Audiobook by ETL.Echo.Audiobooks).
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 356,114
- Chapters:
- 84/84
- Comments:
- 3,422
- Kudos:
- 12,402
- Bookmarks:
- 6,984
- Hits:
- 1,099,610
Bookmarked by SomethingFuhny
17 Feb 2026