12 Bookmarks by ThatBlueViolinKid
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if only I wasn’t scared to meet your gaze by celestarr
Fandoms: Alien Stage (Web Series)
28 Feb 2026
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Sometimes he yearned for Till to become aware of his affections, for no purpose but to ensure Till realized that he was not only beloved, but love itself.
Someone like Till, an explosion of what it meant to be human, could not love someone like Ivan. The most human thing about him was this rot that continued to fester inside of his heart and now throat. His love was sickly, but it was real, as these petals proved, and maybe that was all Ivan could dream of.
Therefore, Ivan did not need Till’s love– he just needed Till.Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
03 Mar 2026
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“Till?” Ivan groans, groggy. He feels bony fingers dig into the flesh of his ass and under his upper back as he’s lifted off the ground.
“A-are you okay?” Till stutters under Ivan’s weight, a crowd begins to surround them. Ivan’s brain slows as it begins to process the fact that Till was lifting him. Bridal-carrying him, if you will.
“Uh,” Ivan manages intelligibly.
Ivan gets knocked over mid-game. The only logical thing to do would be for Till to lift him up. Obviously.
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
27 Dec 2025
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Till throws his hands upwards, “Seriously? Ivan, what did the last few months of us screwing around mean to you?”
“It was a mutually beneficial arrangement,” Ivan finds himself saying, nodding slightly at his own words as if to affirm himself.
Till’s eyes widen incredulously, “Did you think we were fucking friends with benefits?!”
“The benefits tend to include fucking, yes,”
Ivan thinks he knows exactly what he and Till are. Till thinks Ivan's an idiot.
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
27 Dec 2025
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These days, Till finds solace in the fact that he was right in his suspicions. The violin may have disciplined Ivan, but the guitar pushes his throat past the limits their old world had imposed on him.
On the stage, the heat makes Ivan's hair curl, allowing him to look as ragged as he did during all their childhood tussles. His leather jacket, which now lies discarded somewhere near the entryway, still smells like the hotteok Till burned in their kitchen a couple of nights ago. There’s a tiny brown smear near the zipper of his pants where he spilled a little bit of sauce from the kimchi okonomiyaki he had been eating before rehearsals, because Ivan is the kind to spill things on himself without consequence now.
(Or: When it comes down to it, there's not that much difference between making music and making love.)
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
26 Dec 2025
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In the locker room after practice, the boys jostle each other, slinging their sweaty jerseys over their bare backs.
They laugh, discussing the obscene ways the body can twist and turn. How to suck a hickey along the column on another’s throat. How to cup a breast with the right amount of pressure. How to kiss between the thighs. But no one, no one talks about how to best pluck an eyelash from underneath the bruised eye of a boy one has revolved around their whole life. How to catch and bear the heaviness of a wish never made.
(Or: After a rough encounter with Urak, Till calls Ivan over. They sit together in the water and let it carry them through.)
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
24 Dec 2025
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“Why are you here?” Till asks. He means it to sound scathing, but it comes out as jagged as a dull knife. It’s been a long day, or maybe a short day; Till has no grasp on time, or his surroundings for that matter, and he can feel that there’s still blood all over his face and probably spit and dirt and it’s objectively nasty, and scary, and… Ivan doesn’t budge.
He just looks at him with that look. The weird, blank one. “Sometimes, you are the one who asks stupid questions,” Ivan says.
Till can’t figure Ivan out. Still, Ivan’s kindness, albeit weird, is something Till can’t help but be drawn to.
Series
- Part 2 of the love was there
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
23 Dec 2025
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in the locker room straight up jorking it. and by it, well… heh, let’s just say. this emo boy by pinecow for nemoys
Fandoms: Alien Stage (Web Series)
09 Sep 2025
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Till’s stuck in a rupture, reliving the past and biding his time for the future; occasionally, he’s eased into solid moments of the present with Ivan’s touch.
Till, young and scared, had prompted a fissure between them, only to watch it widen with festering guilt. It was hard to tell when exactly things changed, when they were running their allowance dry at the arcade or sneaking out at night and when Till found himself used to his own company more than anyone else’s, watching Ivan blossom, accepted as a perfect caricature version of himself amongst groups of strangers.
Everyone was just too scared to be different and, by extension, alone. Maybe Till most of all.
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
23 Dec 2025
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Ivan and Till are rescued in the midst of Round 6. Horrified by almost losing Ivan, Till holds onto him tighter than ever before. It isn’t easy, at first, but eventually the tension snaps and they come together to deal with their feelings in the only way they know how.
OR: they fuck because they can’t say ‘I love you’
Written for Tiiv week, day 4 (emotional sex)
There are two gnarly scars on the left side of his ribs, and another through his bicep. They are the only marks on Ivan’s perfect body, and they glare up at Till when he drinks in his form. His heart aches, and it feels like his chest is boiling over from all the different emotions crashing together inside it. He almost lost this. He almost lost Ivan, forever. Till thought he had. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have him again, but he refuses to let him go now.
Series
- Part 4 of Tiiv Week 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,053
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 24
- Kudos:
- 571
- Bookmarks:
- 65
- Hits:
- 7,831
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
22 Dec 2025
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As if a switch has been flipped, Ivan does not stop gazing at Till, while Till is the one to skirt away.
“This might be good for you, though,” Ivan says, his voice gentle, as if each word doesn't tear into Till’s arteries. “You won’t have to deal with this burden for much longer. It’ll pass.”
“You’re not dead,” Till manages, his voice hoarse. “We'll still be us.”
For the first time, Till feels waves of terror shake through their profound silence.
Ivan gets surgery for his Hanahaki. Till deals with the aftermath.
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
22 Dec 2025
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How to Lose At Chess With a Dog Except The Dog Is Actually Pretty Good and He Is Also a (Dirty and Lying) Thief by fflyhigher
Fandoms: Alien Stage (Web Series)
04 Aug 2025
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It should be stated again, just for the record of Till's quickly burning down with rage and also sleep-addled mind, that Ivan is a fucking dick and a terrible friend. Till hates Ivan. Till is also going, due to horrible and unjust circumstances, to let Ivan into his bed. Because he's a bastard.
Ivan knocks at Till's door in the middle of the night. Till shouldn't have opened the door because Ivan is an asshole.
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
21 Dec 2025
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Ivan asks to spend the night.
“I don’t want any funny business.”
He beams. “You think I’m funny?”
Till groans.
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
17 Dec 2025
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Ivan buries his face in her hair. Plants his lips on her head, like how Mizi does on her cheek. It feels different coming from him, though. She doesn’t have enough time to protest before he’s pulling away to look at her, and Sua is nice enough to look back.
“Please, Sua,” he almost whispers, with such a look of captivating sadness in his eyes that reminds Sua why he’s the favorite. “Don’t.”
Suddenly, she sees her sister’s face in Ivan’s, clearest she’s seen in years. You don't want to go "pop!" and die, do you?
Sua and Ivan must be twins. This probably isn't a good thing.
Series
- Part 1 of the love was there
Bookmarked by ThatBlueViolinKid
11 Dec 2025