TheOstrich



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    What would you do in the villain’s place?

    An adult consciousness wakes in the body of three-year-old Joffrey Baratheon. He's armed with foreknowledge and a lifetime's worth of experience… and it is not enough. He is still Cersei's son, still Robert's "heir," and still sitting on a secret that could kill him and everyone he loves. And the more he builds to protect himself, the more he has to lose. This is a story about governance and grief, about the cost of necessary choices, and about what it means to love people who have the power to destroy you.

    It is also, somewhat accidentally, the tale of how King Joffrey I Baratheon completely revolutionized the Westerosi shipbuilding industry, and with it altered the balance of power across the entire known world.

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    28 Mar 2026

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    Chapters:
    3/7
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    25 Mar 2026

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    HOLLANDER IS GAY

    A shocking moment has occurred as Gilbert Comeau outs fellow Montreal Voyager and Captain Shane Hollander as gay. Fans of the hockey team are divided, with some condemning Comeau's actions and others calling for transparency.
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    Rozanov and Hollander?

    During the recent pre-season game, Ilya Rozanov revealed a past hook-up with Shane Hollander, asking the other captain if he’d like a repeat.
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    Shane’s Wife @hockeygirl25

    Okay, so wait, this was just pigtail pulling the entire time?

    Or, after Shane is outed by a teammate, Ilya decides to bin their ten-year plan to publicly woo his boyfriend as if they aren’t already dating.

    The public predictably loses its mind.

    Language:
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    11,153
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    24 Mar 2026

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    Maekar had six children and that should have been enough. But with the Bloodraven whispering in his ears, speaking of destiny and the good of House Targaryen: the King demanded it was time for his eldest and youngest to remarry, as neither of his other sons would ever have children of their own.

    After six moon turns of dragging his children across half the continent: it is not he that chooses his wife. It's his children.

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    117,353
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    31/?
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    22 Mar 2026

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    Daeron was of the opinion that he needn’t have come with his uncle Rhaegel as they traveled to the Eyrie, but his father insisted that Daeron go, hoping the honor and chivalry so prevalent in the Vale will change his drunken, whoring ways.

    What he gets is an attack on their entourage, being taken by one of the mountain clans, and sent off as an offering to the fire-witch’s pet.

    Except the pet is no monster, the witch is a girl with startlingly familiar eyes, and Daeron finds himself faced with a dragon long thought to be dead.

    (In which a modern girl is reborn as a descendant of Nettles.)

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    21 Mar 2026