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Catfish Cabaret by WyvernQuill
Fandoms: 吸血鬼すぐ死ぬ | Kyuuketsuki Sugu Shinu | The Vampire Dies in No Time (Manga)
20 Jan 2022
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Summary
The 21st century has, so far, been quite spectacularly unkind to legendary vampire hunter Van Helsing.
Aside from the lamentable fact that he passed away some 100 years ago and is currently stuck possessing a rather cutesy pet monkey out of necessity - please don't ask. Just. Don't. - he's also lacking most of his memories, and hasn't had a proper conversation with someone even remotely his own age (or species) in... decades, frankly.
In an attempt to resolve at least the latter of his issues, he finally signs up for an online dating website, figuring it would be his best shot at making a friend or two, catfishing(/monkeyfishing) be damned.
Falling in love with the absolutely insufferable "D", a man who pretends to be a High Vampire Lord and spams stickers in chat, is certainly not what Helsing expected out of this endeavour - but, looking back, he wouldn't want it any other way.(Not that it can ever work out, mind. Love isn't for amnesiac monkey-possessing ghosts.
If only he could convince his poor, foolish heart of that...)