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• If Your Laptop Dies And You Actually Go Touch Grass You Might Even Get A Girlfriend by arandomcottagecorelesbian

  Fandoms: Splatoon (Video Games)  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • F/F
  • Work in Progress

  17 Apr 2026

  Tags

  • No Archive Warnings Apply
  • Agent 3/Agent 8 (Splatoon)
  • background Agent 4/Marie - Relationship
  • Agent 3 & Agent 4 & Callie & Marie (Splatoon)
  • Agent 4 & Agent 8 (Splatoon)
  • background Marina/Pearl
  • Agent 3 (Splatoon)
  • Agent 8 (Splatoon)
  • Agent 4 (Splatoon)
  • New Agent 3 (Splatoon 3)
  • Callie (Splatoon)
  • Marie (Splatoon)
  • Cap'n Craig Cuttlefish
  • Pearl (Splatoon)
  • Marina (Splatoon)
  • musician au
  • alternate universe - turf war ended in a draw
  • No beta we die like Commander Tartar
  • Other Additional Tags to Be Added
  • Eight quietly gay panicking
  • Meanwhile Three is like "damnnit i hate social interactions"
  • basically they're musicians
  • like all of them not just the idols
  • like the idols are also idols but then they're also part of a band on the side its less confusing than it sounds i promise
  • She/Her and They/Them Pronouns for Agent 3 (Splatoon)
  • She/Her Pronouns for Agent 8 (Splatoon)
  • She/Her Pronouns for Agent 4 (Splatoon)
  • They/Them Pronouns for New Agent 3 (Splatoon)
  • Useless Lesbians
  • Agent 4 Is a Little Shit (Splatoon)
  • Rated T for language

  Summary

  "Fucking fuck fuCK FUCK- “
  Three’s eyes widened as her software crashed, the screen turning a white tint and loading. ‘This program isn’t responding. Wait for it to load?’
  “FUCKKKKKK!”
  Three had a very impressive vocabulary, really. To be fair, though, its not as if they didn’t know any other words- it’s just that none of the other words encapsulated her feelings as well as-
  “FUCK.”
  Yeah, that one. Three slammed shut her shitty laptop with anger- but also with care. She was way too poor to afford another laptop, let alone a better one- and no way in the universe she was letting the chaos duo with their giant fucking billboard (seriously, who needs that big of a billboard??) taunting her from her window to pay for her stuff.
  Man, she really hopes she remembered to save.
  …She probably didn’t.

  Or- That one musician au no one asked for starring lesbian cephalopods

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  10,969

  Chapters:

  4/?

  Comments:

  18

  Kudos:

  41

  Bookmarks:

  5

  Hits:

  434