fickle_pickle
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,314
- Kudos:
- 28,959
- Bookmarks:
- 11,465
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- 1,704,320
Bookmarked by fickle_pickle
20 Mar 2024
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Summary
Some love stories start with a kiss, others with the brush of a hand. This romance, however, blossoms from something a little dirtier. An epic love story between a stressed woman who writes erotic friend fiction and the man who accidentally finds her self-penned smut.
“I do creative writing,” Hermione said in a small voice with a wince.
“oh… OK,” Ginny nodded supportively, “that’s nice.”
“I write…” a bubble of a sob emitted from deep in Hermione’s chest, “dirty stories.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 136,526
- Chapters:
- 47/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 682
- Kudos:
- 1,118
- Bookmarks:
- 306
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- 48,892
Bookmarked by fickle_pickle
13 Jul 2022
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Sequel to "The Right Thing to Do" - Draco's POV. Part 2 of the "Rights and Wrongs" series.
Series
- Part 2 of Rights and Wrongs
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 160,297
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 2,980
- Kudos:
- 20,021
- Bookmarks:
- 5,167
- Hits:
- 1,286,784
Bookmarked by fickle_pickle
28 Sep 2021
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As she looked around her living room - at the green velvet ottoman she didn't remember purchasing, the 14th century Wizarding texts on her bookshelf, the hideous and obnoxiously ostentatious grandfather clock that could only belong to a Malfoy - she pictured the toothbrush next to hers on her bathroom counter, the old Slytherin quidditch jersey she regularly tripped over in her bedroom, and the mint chocolate chip ice cream in her freezer - a flavour she abhorred, but that a particular, pale, pointy faced aristocrat sat across from her had a tragic fondness for.
Her chest burning, as if she drank a barrel of bubotuber pus, Hermione turned to him with narrowed, accusing eyes. "Malfoy...are we dating?"
If there's one thing Hermione Granger knows, it's that she simply doesn't have time to date. Draco decides to date her, anyway.
Series
- Part 1 of Grandfather Clocks and Ginger Biscuits
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 106,117
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 58
- Comments:
- 1,848
- Kudos:
- 12,956
- Bookmarks:
- 5,810
- Hits:
- 541,139
Bookmarked by fickle_pickle
14 Sep 2021
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Summary
It's a year since Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy parted in Italy with promises of love and fidelity. The Battle of Hogwarts is over and Voldemort is dead. And although the price paid was high, Hermione is ready to start the rest of her life, and her eighth year studies, with Draco by her side. No hiding and no shame.
But when Draco finally arrives at Hogwarts, it's obvious that things are very wrong. Why is he acting so strangely? And what happened during the long months he lived as a double agent, passing secrets from the Death Eaters to the Order?
No one is talking, but Hermione will get to the truth, even if it means breaking her own heart in the process.If Bending Light was the warm, lazy Italian summer, this is the dark, brooding Scottish winter. Dress warmly.
Series
- Part 2 of Light and Dark
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,705
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Collections:
- 20
- Comments:
- 3,809
- Kudos:
- 4,594
- Bookmarks:
- 1,775
- Hits:
- 287,455
Bookmarked by fickle_pickle
06 Sep 2021