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  1. Public Bookmark 67

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    Summary

    Sure, he could ask Felix for terms. If he wanted. And asking would have its own set of consequences and potential complications—what if Felix doesn’t want more than a bit of fun? Or stress-relief, or convenience, whatever this is. What if it spoils it, to bring it into the light and give it a proper name?

    Sylvain does his very best not to ask Felix “So, what are we?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,395
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    443
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    2,574

    29 Feb 2024

  2. Public Bookmark 5

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    Summary

    “You string me along,” he whispered. “I wish you’d stop.”

    “I don’t,” Charles countered in the same whisper, defensively, insistently. “I don’t. I just—get drunk, and I lose myself.”

    “You’re breaking my heart.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,634
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    708

    30 Mar 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    my brain chemistry is being altered at an insanely rapid speed there is no looking back

  3. Public Bookmark 53

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    Summary

    “Just because I didn’t receive you at the gates this morning does not mean I’m throwing you over. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to twist my handkerchief and weep.”

    Sylvain laughed, unconvincingly. “No, I know—“ And he had known. Only, it was thinking of Felix that kept him upright in the saddle when he was dead tired and sore and moving on muscle memory alone.

    Shortly after the war came marriage, and shortly after marriage Sylvain departed for Sreng. Upon returning, he finds life in Fhirdiad has gone on without him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    277
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    2,795

    18 Jan 2023

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ah...... ah

  4. Public Bookmark 26

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    Summary

    It’s 2012 and you’re at a high school party talking to a pretty girl while Fun’s “We Are Young” plays in the background. You have heard this song more times than you’ve tried to fit into your pair of too-small skinny jeans. Also, you might be in love with your best friend.

    Or, the one where Sylvain sleeps with Felix's first girlfriend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    704

    23 Nov 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    insanely my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the empire state visceral

  5. Public Bookmark 53

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    Summary

    “Get away from the cities,” Felix says, breathing hard. “You'll want to go somewhere remote, with food and water and a generator, in case the grid goes down.” If Sylvain didn’t know better—or maybe because he knows Felix too well—he’d almost say there’s a gleam to his eyes, like he’s been prepping for the apocalypse since age 13.

    -

    Estranged friends Sylvain and Felix take a road trip at the end of the world.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,490
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    207
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    2,288

    28 Oct 2022

  6. Public Bookmark 54

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    Summary

    Fleche escapes, Felix follows, and Sylvain goes where Felix does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,871
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    225
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    1,869

    17 Oct 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    this was a good stab in the heart

  7. Public Bookmark 57

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    Summary

    Felix has made his peace with Sylvain chasing after everyone with a pulse—peace, in this context, being redefined as has learned to tolerate the stabbing ache in his gut, to the point that he doesn’t notice it unless he thinks about it too hard, like an exposed nerve you learn how to live with—because he’s always known none of them really matter. It still sucks. It still feels like a kick to the chest sometimes, cracked ribs and short breath. But it’s survivable, because none of them have phone numbers Sylvain has memorised, like Ingrid’s, or birthdays he could recite half-asleep and drunk out of his mind, like Dimitri’s. None of them get to see the way Sylvain smiles when he means it, that crooked thing that slips out on Claude’s kitchen floor at two in the morning, like Felix does.

    (These are the facts of the universe: water is wet, the sky is blue, and Sylvain Gautier will never want Felix Fraldarius.)

    —The Faerghus four play a drinking game (Sylvain’s fault). More truths come out than intended (everyone’s fault).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,398
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    366
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    2,267

    20 Sep 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WAAAAAAAAAGH YEA THIS IS THE STUFF......

  8. Public Bookmark 46

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    Summary

    “You’ll like me? When I’m hunched over? When my bones creak and my looks are gone?”

    “Is that what this is? Vanity?” Felix picked up his head, and what he saw in Sylvain’s face made him sit up entirely, his knees pressed to either side of Sylvain’s charmingly thick middle. “You’re not serious.”

    After decades of marriage, making Sylvain blush is still as easy as it ever was.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,318
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    324
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    1,677

    12 Sep 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "He had picked up something with his indelicate grip that at that moment he realized was fragile beyond belief, and his body, his path moving forward, would be rearranged around that new understanding." wow

  9. Public Bookmark 25

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    Summary

    Though it happens sometimes, usually when Felix can’t shed the energy any other way, Sylvain’s not expecting it tonight: Felix easing into his tent. Jaw set, he studies the tent’s soft wall instead of Sylvain, an oil lamp’s light pulling his shadow above him like a hangman.

    But Sylvain gets it. Sometimes you’ve just got to get your hands on someone.

    ——

    Felix and Sylvain determine things worth saving.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,277
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    234
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1,660

    05 Sep 2022

  10. Public Bookmark 51

    Tags
    Summary

    Felix's hair gleams a deep blue in the candlelight, thick as a rope that Felix winds through his fingers. He has brought it over his shoulder and turned his face aside to give himself room to work. In perfect profile, he has features like the silhouette of a Gautier mountain range - beautiful from a distance and deadly up close, even to those who have known it all their lives and grew up in its shadow.
    "Are you going to stare all night?" Felix flicks his gaze at Sylvain, his head still turned to the side. On anyone else, it would be coy. On Felix, it just feels like being looked at.
    ___
    In the midst of war, Sylvain and Felix play a game of pretend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    318
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    2,705

    25 Jul 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    TRUE LOVE......

  11. Public Bookmark 8

    Tags
    Summary

    Felix tries to grow jasmine inside the Gautier greenhouse. Sylvain doesn't believe he could until it blooms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,952
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    455

    01 Jul 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    i cried

  12. Public Bookmark 18

    Tags
    Summary

    Sylvain pushes a pastry towards him, and Felix is about to comment that he doesn’t like sweets when he notices it’s a mini meat pie, this week’s special. “Hey Felix, if it weren’t raining, where would you go? What do you do for fun out here in Brooklyn?” 

    Sylvain, the former childhood friend Felix sees maybe once a year, is knee-deep in his midlife crisis when he makes a few changes and confuses Felix even more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,906
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    743

    08 Jun 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    this was so lovely. the mary oliver poem abt to send ME into a quarter life crisis

  13. This has been deleted, sorry!

    06 Jun 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    going to send this fic a dagger myself

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    What was a little dirty note in the face of all that history?

    Sylvain should’ve written that instead. In any memory I have, remotely touched by happiness, you’re always standing in the periphery.

    -

    Two people do a miserable job at delivering love confessions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,101
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    624
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    4,508

    23 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "fifty layers of fucking snowpack had to melt before you saw anything unprotected and green" i'll die right now

  15. Public Bookmark 89

    Tags
    Summary

    "She said—” Sylvain gags a little on the taste of his own exhale. “She said it didn’t have to be like this.” His limp gesturing encompasses the whole, the entirety. “Any of it. She wasn’t just asking if I wanted to join them for lectures.”

    Felix is back looking out the window, eyes level to the waning moon.

    Sylvain looks at his upturned hands on his knees. “She was asking if I want to defect.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,262
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    335
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    4,011

    18 May 2022

  16. Public Bookmark 63

    Tags
    Summary

    The fourth Harbinger is throwing a ball. It’s the kind of nonsense they can get away with, since the third—who usually smothers the fourth’s ludicrous ideas in the cradle—is stationed in Sumeru and can’t intervene. Pierro, like the worst kind of indulgent father, loves it when someone else invents activities for the Harbingers to bicker and backstab each other over, so he only encourages them.

    Scaramouche has no choice but to grin and bear it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    338
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    3,290

    11 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ough... delicious

  17. Public Bookmark 36

    Tags
    Summary

    Scaramouche is going to kill him for this one day, he's sure of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,181
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    278
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    3,128

    04 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    oh god im a changed man

  18. Public Bookmark 19

    Tags
    Summary

    “I like this.” Sylvain says, his fingertips ghosting over the deep cut on his eyebrow. “It makes you look dangerous.”
    --
    Felix falls in battle, sleeps for a week, and is comforted by his husband.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,132
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,793

    01 May 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    crying sylvain :)

  19. Public Bookmark 31

    Tags
    Summary

    “What are you thinking about?” Felix finally asked, searching his face like he could find the answer.

    I love you, was the first thing that came to mind. I don’t want this to ever end, was the next. Today had been just an ordinary day, but it felt like one of the best days of his life. And it was because he had Felix, because he loved him, because he was loved by him. Looking into Felix's eyes, Sylvain rifled through the countless thoughts in his head that arose whenever he thought of Felix, looking for the perfect answer, until he stopped, held on to one. Suddenly, he felt as though he were suddenly outside of his body looking in, unable to control the words running through his mind, unable to keep himself from opening his mouth and saying, "I want to marry you.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,319
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    262
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    2,288

    01 Apr 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    TRUE LOVE !!!!!!!!!

  20. Public Bookmark 20

    Tags
    Summary

    “I thought you had to answer honestly.”

    “I am answering honestly!” Sylvain laughs under Felix’s scrutiny. “What, you think I’d lie to you?”

    Confessions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,144
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    270
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1,760

    19 Mar 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    DELISH

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