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Eddie pulls back from him with a half-confused, half-concerned furrow in between his eyebrows. “Buck?”
Buck sags against the wall. “Sorry,” he says, wiping the back of his forearm against his forehead in a mixture of frustration and newfound exhaustion. “Sorry.”
A thumb swipes across his cheekbone, searching eyes boring into his. “Buck. What’s wrong?”
Buck closes his eyes, then blinks them open. “Nothing,” he says, because he doesn’t know how to tell the truth. He doesn’t know what the truth even is. “Everything’s, uh—everything’s fine. I just—” he chews on his lip. “I was just thinking that, uh, maybe we shouldn’t go any further tonight? You know, not with Christopher in the house.”
in which buck is avoiding having sex with eddie.
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Bookmarked by isetie
08 Aug 2024
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“I'm gay.”
He's looking at his feet, because he hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that he's saying this in a room where other people, strangers, can hear it.
But this is still the first time he's said it this way: out loud, in a declarative sentence. Being nervous is fine. Frank said that being nervous is fine, and Buck just said he's proud, and the only thought Eddie has in his head is that it's embarrassing he can't raise his head and say it like a man, so clearly, he's going to need to hang on to other people's words for the time being, someone who isn't his dad trying to explain the ways Eddie's allowed to inhabit the world.
He doesn't need to ask anyone's permission to be who he is. That's also a thing Frank said.
in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.
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Bookmarked by isetie
14 Sep 2022
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He writes CHRISTOPHER at the top of the page in capital letters. Underneath it goes BUCK. Then PEPA, CARLA, CHIM, HEN and so on until he has fifteen names listed out. Fifteen people to show his appreciation for.
He starts with the easiest name first.
or, Eddie tells the family he chose how much they mean to him. All of them except one.
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Bookmarked by isetie
03 Aug 2022
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“Are you happy?” Buck hears himself ask, the words slipping through without passing his brain-to-mouth filter.
Eddie hums. “Most of the time.”
Buck just nods in reply, picking at the label of his beer.
“Are you happy?” Eddie asks him, voice quiet in the night, and when Buck glances over, his eyes are a little red and glassy.
Buck lets out a breath and shakes his head. “Not even half of the time.”
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Or, the one where Eddie's getting married, but not to Buck, and Buck is not a selfish man.Bookmarked by isetie
17 Jul 2022
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One day, Buck will tell an interviewer that he would be happy to make movies with Eddie Diaz until the day he dies.
But first, years before that, he sees Eddie for the first time on the set of Chimney’s fifth movie.
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or, the actors au
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Bookmarked by isetie
09 Jun 2022