10 Works by jaaayy
Listing Works
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Tobio is dying. After weeks of careful consideration, it’s the only logical conclusion he’s come to. It’s the only explanation for his sudden bouts of feverishness, the unexplainable clammy palms, and, most concerning, the heart palpitations. There’s no other verdict: he’s dying.
(Oh, and Hinata’s got something to do with it, too, because of course it’s connected to the little dumbass. Maybe he’s allergic to Hinata. Yeah, that’s a solid theory.)
In which Tobio is convinced that he’s dying (it takes a while, but Hinata manages to convince him otherwise).
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Kalon by jaaayy
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
04 Jan 2025
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kalon
(adj.)
possessing a beauty that is more than skin deepAnd then there’s blood, there’s blood on the walls and on the carpet and on her hands—it’s Himiko’s blood. Himiko’s blood is warm. Himiko’s body is warm, not yet cold, but pale on the ground beside her. She can feel it, the twitch of Himiko’s fingers as she grasps her hand, the fluttering pulse in the soft flesh of her wrist as it dies. Himiko is dying.
Himiko is dying.
In which Ochako learns to cope following the end of the war (it's difficult, but that's what friends are for).
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Kaveh likes to think he has a relatively good memory.
He still remembers the first time his mother had taken him to the Akademiya, sometime before he’d been enrolled, still remembers basking in the grandeur of the impressive architecture with her hand carding gently through his hair.
He still remembers the very first time he’d lost someone close to him, still remembers the hollow feeling of his stomach dropping to his feet when he’d learned about his father’s death.
He still remembers the very last time he’d lost someone close to him, still remembers the burning heat behind his eyes and the tightness in his throat as he’d strayed from his morals. He still remembers Alhaitham, unfazed and stoic as ever as Kaveh had retaliated, wanting to hurt Alhaitham the way he’d been hurt.
He remembers the happier times of his life, too! He’s not just a sad sap.
In an unfortunate, untimely turn of events, Kaveh shatters. Alhaitham is there to pick up the pieces.
Series
- Part 2 of Like the Myths
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In some ways, heartbreak is a euphemism for betrayal.
He does not have a heart. He is not human. But if he were, he wonders (wondered, singular, a moment of weakness from centuries ago) whether it would feel the same. His chest is hollow of tissue and bone, instead filled with wires and parts that tick mechanically to keep him moving. He has no heart, and no such replacement.
The first time he experiences heartbreak is at the hands of Ei.
The second time he experiences heartbreak is at the hands of his friends.
The third time he experiences heartbreak is at the hands of his parallel.
The fourth time he experiences heartbreak is, perhaps, the worst of all.
In which the Wanderer loses all he has and rediscovers all he is (and maybe has a little help along the way).
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The first thing he sees is a mop of blonde hair, then a pair of crimson eyes.
“Are you awake?”
It’s a male voice, one thrumming with hesitant excitement. The eyes draw closer to his face, sparkling with a wonder that comes from accomplishment. There’s a pressure on his face as warm hands come up to cup his cheeks.
The man himself is wearing a loose white shirt and black pajama bottoms. His blonde hair is pinned back in a haphazard bun and dark circles line his eyes. His breath smells of coffee and his smile is slight but crooked.
Ethereal.
In which a lonely, brilliant Kaveh constructs an android companion. (It goes about as well as one could hope.)
Series
- Part 1 of Like the Myths
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It’s been a few years since he’s celebrated his birthday.
(Okay, that makes him sound sad. And lonely. He does celebrate his birthday, at midnight, every twenty-second of December, with a small, store-bought cupcake and a candle he’s been reusing for years. By a bit after midnight, he’s already made a wish and devoured a cupcake, and he can look forward to volleyball practice in the morning. It’s not sad. Or lonely.)
In which Tobio's birthday becomes more of a yearly observance than a celebration (and Hinata just can't have that).
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So when the sky becomes overcast and the clouds rumble with Celestia’s wrath, he doesn’t bat an eye as Alhaitham abruptly excuses himself from dinner, grabs his headphones off the coffee table, and retreats to his room. This is normal, he knows; Alhaitham hates loud noises.
(What Kaveh doesn’t know is that the day after Alhaitham’s grandmother had passed, a fierce storm had overtaken the city. It had been the middle of the rainy season, so it had been nothing out of the ordinary. Kaveh, little thirteen-year-old Kaveh, hadn’t minded much. But Alhaitham had been alone— small, scared, and very much alone— for one of the first times of his life.
If Alhaitham had disliked storms then, he’d grown to hate them now, had grown to fear them, grown to loathe how powerless he felt whenever he heard the clap of thunder, or saw a stream of lightning scar the dark sky.)
In which Kaveh, Sumeru's resident expert on all things Alhaitham, still manages to learn something new.
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He bites back a groan. “Okay, genius, what do you think I should do then?”
“I don’t know, maybe try talking to him? Literally, just go up to him, and talk.”
No. Absolutely not. No. That's the plan. That was the plan.
“If, hypothetically, I did, what would I say?” But carefully crafted plans never hold his attention for long.
- Or: the five (six, seven, eight...) times that Childe and Zhongli meet for tutor sessions, the one time they don’t, and everything after.
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Finally, he clears his throat. “Are you okay?” It’s more than just a matter of physical state.
And Xingqiu knows. “No.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
There’s a pause worth two heartbeats. He waits until Xingqiu gives in. “I’m scared.” His voice is small now, so quiet he almost misses it. “I’m scared of dying.”
- In which Chongyun visits his friend at the hospital.
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Drowning, and the Other Infatuations of Life by jaaayy
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
22 Oct 2023
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The thought of drowning had crossed his mind only once, when he’d ventured too far. The sea floor had dropped and vanished from view, an inky mass taking its place. He’d swam closer, inched near as he’d dared— the result had been a suffocating pressure that had constricted his chest and held his limbs hostage. He’d backed away then, too scared to move any closer, and retreated to the comfort of the Dragon and the frolicking penguins.
Now, it’s all he thinks of.
In which Freminet likes the feeling of being underwater, and likes the surface world a little less.