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1. Rec 5

   A Survival Guide to Dealing with Weird Russians (spoiler, you can't) by orphan_account

   Fandoms: Metro 2033 & Related Fandoms  

   • General Audiences
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Gen
   • Work in Progress

   10 Mar 2025

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Artyom & Sam (Metro)
   • Anna/Artyom (Metro)
   • Artyom (Metro)
   • Sam (Metro)
   • The Aurora Crew (Metro)
   • Miller (Metro)
   • Anna (Metro)
   • Krest (Metro)
   • Yermak (Metro)
   • Duke (Metro)
   • Damir (Metro)
   • Alyosha (Metro)
   • artyom is a cryptid
   • he's so weird like idk he's just a silly goober
   • Sam is Concerned
   • my first fic btw
   • BAMF Artyom
   • Sam Is So Done
   • Fluff and Crack
   • artyom is NOT normal
   • no beta we die like uhlman (rest in peace my king)
   • Author Is Sleep Deprived
   • artyom is probably undiagnosed autistic
   • Crack Treated Seriously
   • i love artyom
   • Sorry guys
   • artyom the type of guy to make his own nature documentaries
   • but there's just. zero commentary. he just walks up to mutants and pets them
   • artyom loves his wife
   • Selectively Mute Artyom
   • takes place in metro exodus btw
   • i don't know when
   • but it does
   • i made metro woke sorry guys
   • Star Wars mentioned
   • author does not know anything about star wars
   • author does not know how to format ao3 fics.
   • Characters are probably OOC
   • sorry - Freeform
   • a fair price to pay for being funny
   • Short Drabbles
   • For Shits and Giggles
   • English is my second language
   • things might not make sense bear with me

   Summary

   When you're the only American in a crew full of Russians, cultural differences are bound to happen. Some are small—like how much dill is too much dill. Others? Well, others involve whether or not your weirdly quiet teammate is even remotely normal.

   Sam's pretty sure Artyom is a decent guy. A little strange? Sure. A little too comfortable with mutants and danger? Absolutely. But overall? Yeah, he's alright. Probably.

   …Maybe.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   3,017

   Chapters:

   5/?

   Comments:

   12

   Kudos:

   36

   Bookmarks:

   5

   Hits:

   549

   Bookmarked by lastlighter

   09 Mar 2025

   Bookmarker's Notes

   i love when the metro fic has good characterization in a silly funny way. i love it so much. artyom alekseyevich chyornyj you are my WORLD

   also we're all so starved for sam and artyom fics when you know that man was so sad he never got to go on an artyom field trip like the others. FINALLY it's sam's time!!!!