nevercatchme
Fandoms
Recent works
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Everything Is Exactly The Same, Only Instead Of A Talking Skull There Are TWO Wisecracking Geese by nevercatchme for barronsfever (historyofbellarke)
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
08 Apr 2025
Tags
Summary
“Look,” said the girl, “here’s how it is. We used to have a goose on the team. It was good, because technically he was an adult so we could claim him as our supervisor, and DEPRAC couldn’t do a damn thing about it. We and Goose… well we parted company and in the last five months we’ve seen off six DEPRAC-appointed supervisors, because…” She hesitated.
“They are bad managers who simply don’t understand our team dynamics, and unique but proven approach to psychical investigation,” said Posh Boy (Yep. This is what we’re gonna call him for the duration of this narrative).
Lucy went on. “So when Inspector Barnes told us to ‘hire our own bloody adult’, my mind immediately said ‘What’s the best kind of adult? An adult goose.’ So honestly, what we’re looking for is someone anarchic who doesn’t give a damn what we do, but will defend us fiercely if DEPRAC get their knickers in a knot.”
***
There’s a new goose in town. HONK FUCKING HONK HONK, PUNTS!!!
Series
- Part 2 of Stories About Geese
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Everything Is Exactly The Same, Only Instead Of A Talking Skull, There Is A Wisecracking Goose by nevercatchme for barronsfever (historyofbellarke)
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
09 Sep 2023
Tags
Summary
I feel like my title answers all the questions you might have about this plot.
This is a gift for Kate/Barrons. She knows what she did to deserve this, and if that sounds ambiguously either friendly or threatening, you’ve got the gist of the vibe this work has.
Basically, the Skull doesn’t exist in this AU. There’s a goose who makes wisecracks and hangs out with the squad, although he may not be an entirely reliable narrator.
Series
- Part 1 of Stories About Geese
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if you leave me can i come too? by nevercatchme for youareiron_andyouarestrong, StarWritingBri
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
09 Sep 2023
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Summary
Lockwood and Co are doing just FINE without Lucy, actually, and Lockwood doesn’t need her and doesn’t care about her and has no idea what’s up with her and anyway shut up YOUR not-girlfriend left YOU
Then George sees a Fetch and the Fetch is Lockwood. And Lockwood realises it’s possible for someone to see a Fetch that looks like him, which makes some things make sense, and that makes other things make sense.
tl;dr: Lockwood Spirals.
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The Confessions of the Type III Visitor, Mary Dulac by nevercatchme
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
03 Aug 2023
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Summary
What if the skull wasn’t who he is, but another person who was in Edmund Bickerstaff’s weird little circle? What if socialite-turned-(justified)-murderer Mary Dulac was a bunch of ectoplasm forever tied to a skull in a jar?
What if instead of a murderous lunatic ghost frenemy, Lucy had an ectoplasmic gal pal she could hang out with and confide in?
And what if that Victorian-valued friend had Strong Views about the suitability of a certain A.J. Lockwood as a potential suitor?
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Consequences by nevercatchme
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
25 Jun 2023
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Summary
Lockwood realises something about his feelings for Lucy, but before he can take the time to process it all, there is a kidnapping, a desperate act and a terrible betrayal.
There are so many ways this could result in angst.
FOR LOCKWOOD & CO ANGST WEEK 2023
I have elected to use the prompts to write a seven day long fic that will involve a chapter each day, culminating in angst with fluff on the 7th day.
Recent series
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Stories About Geese by nevercatchme
Fandom: Lockwood & Co. (TV), Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud
08 Apr 2025
Summary
Like it says on the box. My fics about geese in the Lockwood and Co Universe.
- Words:
- 7,927
- Works:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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Lockwood and George Can't Handle a Girl (or Can They?) by formage
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
02 Oct 2023
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Summary
Lockwood and George posted an enigmatic advertisement in the paper that asked for "preferably a girl." Why did they ask for that?
Bookmarked by nevercatchme
16 Oct 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Why does the ad specify a girl? Hilarious suggestion.
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Observations From the Park Bench by Shananigans24
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
26 Sep 2023
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Summary
Betty and Joyce have lived near Portland Row their whole lives. They have fed the ducks from the bench in the park near to Portland Row for over 50 years. They gossip, they listen, they watch the comings and goings - including those of 35 Portland Row. Home of Lockwood and Co.
Join these two octogenarians as they get to know Lockwood, George, Lucy, Holly & Quill.
Scenes from the TV show & books but from two bored and inquisitive pensioners perspective.
Bookmarked by nevercatchme
10 Oct 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Betty and Joyce narrate from the park bench. Bless them.
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you're holding me like water in your hands by imasatelliteheart
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
31 Aug 2023
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Summary
“I’m sorry,” he finally says, despite not knowing exactly what he’s apologizing for. Too many things to count and fit in a single apology.
“No, it’s–it’s fine,” Lucy responds still not looking. Lockwood reaches for her, only for Lucy to recoil and take a step back. “Let’s not talk about it.”
_______Lucy was happy. Everything in her life felt easy for once. She had a real family in her friends, the agency was booming, she had met someone who liked and respected her, yet she still felt the same hole in her chest when Lockwood looked at her a bit too much. Until tonight, she had been fully committed to not think about it. And then Lockwood had kissed her.
Series
- Part 1 of water in your hands
Bookmarked by nevercatchme
31 Aug 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Lockwood’s symptoms of love are awfully concerning, IYKNK.
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you left me a haunted house by night_reveur
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
30 Aug 2023
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Summary
Lucy left Portland Row. But that doesn't mean she's gone.
Or, four things Lockwood finds around Portland Row that remind him of Lucy.
Series
- Part 1 of this house is a home
Bookmarked by nevercatchme
30 Aug 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Absolutely beautiful and super devastating Black Winter sad Lockwood.
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How do you like them apples? by DropsOfAddiction
Fandoms: Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud, Lockwood & Co. (TV)
28 Aug 2023
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Summary
“Excuse me, Ms. Carlyle… I’ll have you know I tried really hard with that bird abomination,” Lockwood flicked some dish suds at me.
“Oi!” I picked up the nearest object to hand, which was a tea towel and I flung it at his head.
Lockwood ducked, reflexes on point as always, and it went into the sink.
“Tut tut, Luce, look what you’ve done now,” Lockwood scolded me and he proceeded to fish the soggy tea towel out of the sink.
“You started it,” I rolled my eyes and I looked back down at the thinking cloth.
“And I’ll finish it,” he smirked and too late, I realised my mistake.
Another handful of suds landed on my leg and I scrambled out of my chair and ran for him.