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- SCP Foundation (12)
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Summary
You’re on your knees in front of him and he’s grinding a booted foot between your legs and this is sex. This is the kind of shit you’re into. You’re exploring, even, by not being the dom (to be fair you’re not sure how that would work with Clef’s whole thing).
He says things of varying cruelty to you and you are hard and getting off and this is the kind of sex you two would have, if those social media posts Bright shares about how lots of asexuals are actually super okay with kink stuff and of course your general deal hold any water. You are having an awesome fucking time.
[kondraki is having sex with clef, which is an astonishing kindness on clef's part, so why is all of it so unfullfilling?]
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I Am At The Center Of Everything That Pickles To Me by nobodysystem
Fandoms: SCP Foundation
02 Apr 2025
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Summary
The pickling agent spits out a weak sigh. "Order is to be discarded like a humanoid melting like cabbage on the breakfast table. Order is the way of villains. True good is the unceasing brine, shrinking and salting and souring. You happy yet?"
[for april fool's day 2025 we changed our url to "pickleclef" and posted a variety of terrible pickle rick-themed scp(ickle) content. our magnum opus was a full "rewrite" of scp-3999 that nobody read because it was the full text of scp-3999 with pickle rick jokes posted as a single tumblr post. here i hope it can live on in a more permanent format.
funniest shit i've ever seen.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,957
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 62
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Summary
Talloran doesn’t realize it followed them, at first.
They don’t realize because nothing happens and then, a few months after they think it’s over, Draven shakes them awake one morning because it’s raining grape jelly instead of water, and they’re filled with a blinding panic that lasts until they leave the apartment building to get a better look and realize the jelly isn’t the only thing falling from the sky. It’s raining, real water, except maybe a fifteen-foot radius around them.
[3999 follows Talloran back, and they learn to live with that.]
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Summary
francis's work persona starts talking to them.
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Summary
“You’re kidding me.”
“I am one hundred percent serious here,” Bright says, putting a hand on the table between them and gazing up into Kondraki’s eyes. “Believe me, I wouldn’t ask for this kind of commitment as a joke.”
“You are seriously asking me to pretend to be your plus-one so the two of us can sabotage your family reunion,” Kondraki says slowly.
“I am doing that, yes.”
Despite being perfectly aware of their long history of making horrible, horrible decisions, Kondraki convinces themself that intentionally fucking over Jack Bright's family reunion as their plus-one will be different. Sure, they only know snippets about Bright's extended family, and sure, to get them in the door the two of them have to pretend to be dating, but really. What's the worst that can happen?

