6 Works by paddlessss
Listing Works
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Summary
“Ah, Raglan Road. A bit of a bleeding heart, are you?”
“I just liked it,” Harry mumbled, unsure what that meant.
“So you sing, do you?”
“No,” said Harry, horrified.
In Harry’s opinion, Éanna Laverty’s pub was the closest the muggle world got to magic. I present to you: Irish Harry Potter.
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I Forgive It All as It Comes Back To Me by paddlessss
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
06 Mar 2025
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Summary
“You shouldn’t be anywhere near here,” Spider-Man insisted, posture tightening.
Steve quickly stepped in, “What he meant to say is we’re very sorry we missed you. This was a highly dangerous attack.”
“We know,” came a nonchalant voice from the shop doorway. A young woman had emerged without Wanda’s notice, nor, judging by his quick step away, Spider-Man’s. She wore a collared shirt and a name tag that read MICHELLE, lifting the rolling pin held in her hand. “We had it handled.”
Spider-Man glanced between them, backing away. When he spoke, it wasn’t with the sure compassion he usually held for New Yorkers. His words shook; he was angry. “You could have been seriously hurt! What the hell were you thinking? Are you stupid?”
There was a shocked silence. Wanda had no words. She had once heard Spider-Man apologise when someone multiple feet away from him tripped on their own shoelace.
Something is wrong with Spider-Man. Yes, more than usual.
It’s four years after the blip, and while everyone else has finally found their footing, Spider-Man is losing his.
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There was no response for what felt like an hour—a judgmental hour. Eventually, Remus lifted his head and was highly displeased to find Lily pressing her lips together in delight.
“So, he… He did that, and now the— the wolf sees Sirius as your m…”
Remus gave her a warning glare.
“… Mate? I’m sorry! I couldn’t think of another word!” Lily exclaimed, trying and failing to hold in a giggle. Remus groaned and collapsed onto the floor. She outright laughed, then, the high, infectious kind. “Sorry! I’m sorry, I won’t repeat it.”
Sirius steals Remus’ jumper in vengeance and accidentally melts his brain
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Clothes, cloak, necklace, pyjamas, socks, underwear…
Such was the mantra of Draco Malfoy, packing her life away into a trunk on a July evening. She could not bear to think of anything else.
Unpredictability: That was the plan. What could be more unexpected? After all, if Draco wouldn’t be caught dead on the Knight Bus, she would certainly never be caught dead in the company of Harry Potter.
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Harry’s thoughts went to Ron and Hermione, as they had done like clockwork all summer. Harry missed them desperately, the simple comfort of having people who wanted him around, no matter how much of a tit he was. Every year, Harry got ten months to learn how to let himself be loved, that he was worth that much. And every year, Harry ended up right back in Privet Drive, where all his progress seemed to spring back like a slinky, like a brand new question to be answered—was he even worth that much?
Draco runs away to the only place where no one would look for her: Harry Potter's house. Harry... makes friends? He's not sure, either.
Series
- Part 3 of Female Draco Brain Rot
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It was like looking in a mirror—if mirrors were designed to show you what you’d look like post-head-splitting execution. And with a poor haircut.
James made a series of aborted sounds before he managed, “Who’d pretend to be me when I’m literally here?”
“A wise question,” said Dumbledore calmly.
“Death Eaters are barmy,” Sirius murmured.
What does one do when being impersonated by a nutjob? What does one do when assumed to be said nutjob? When can Draco go home? All good questions no one has the answers to!
ft. made up spells
Series
- Part 1 of Female Draco Brain Rot
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The Rules of Chivalry as Experienced by Harry James Potter by paddlessss
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Nov 2023
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Summary
Once they finally poured through the door, the pair watched their fear turn to horror as McGonagall explained the worst had happened: the Basilisk had taken a student into the chamber itself with a new bloody message left behind: Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever.
“Who is it?” asked a colourless Madam Hooch over the sound of Professor Flitwick’s tears. “Which student?”
“Draco Malfoy,” replied McGonagall, teary. The bottom dropped out of Harry’s stomach.
Draco steals Ginny's diary to taunt her. Ginny doesn't bother getting it back—it wasn't hers anyway. I hope this didn't have terrible consequences.
Series
- Part 2 of Female Draco Brain Rot