paddlessss
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“Ah, Raglan Road. A bit of a bleeding heart, are you?”
“I just liked it,” Harry mumbled, unsure what that meant.
“So you sing, do you?”
“No,” said Harry, horrified.
In Harry’s opinion, Éanna Laverty’s pub was the closest the muggle world got to magic. I present to you: Irish Harry Potter.
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I Forgive It All as It Comes Back To Me by paddlessss
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
06 Mar 2025
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“You shouldn’t be anywhere near here,” Spider-Man insisted, posture tightening.
Steve quickly stepped in, “What he meant to say is we’re very sorry we missed you. This was a highly dangerous attack.”
“We know,” came a nonchalant voice from the shop doorway. A young woman had emerged without Wanda’s notice, nor, judging by his quick step away, Spider-Man’s. She wore a collared shirt and a name tag that read MICHELLE, lifting the rolling pin held in her hand. “We had it handled.”
Spider-Man glanced between them, backing away. When he spoke, it wasn’t with the sure compassion he usually held for New Yorkers. His words shook; he was angry. “You could have been seriously hurt! What the hell were you thinking? Are you stupid?”
There was a shocked silence. Wanda had no words. She had once heard Spider-Man apologise when someone multiple feet away from him tripped on their own shoelace.
Something is wrong with Spider-Man. Yes, more than usual.
It’s four years after the blip, and while everyone else has finally found their footing, Spider-Man is losing his.
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There was no response for what felt like an hour—a judgmental hour. Eventually, Remus lifted his head and was highly displeased to find Lily pressing her lips together in delight.
“So, he… He did that, and now the— the wolf sees Sirius as your m…”
Remus gave her a warning glare.
“… Mate? I’m sorry! I couldn’t think of another word!” Lily exclaimed, trying and failing to hold in a giggle. Remus groaned and collapsed onto the floor. She outright laughed, then, the high, infectious kind. “Sorry! I’m sorry, I won’t repeat it.”
Sirius steals Remus’ jumper in vengeance and accidentally melts his brain
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Clothes, cloak, necklace, pyjamas, socks, underwear…
Such was the mantra of Draco Malfoy, packing her life away into a trunk on a July evening. She could not bear to think of anything else.
Unpredictability: That was the plan. What could be more unexpected? After all, if Draco wouldn’t be caught dead on the Knight Bus, she would certainly never be caught dead in the company of Harry Potter.
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Harry’s thoughts went to Ron and Hermione, as they had done like clockwork all summer. Harry missed them desperately, the simple comfort of having people who wanted him around, no matter how much of a tit he was. Every year, Harry got ten months to learn how to let himself be loved, that he was worth that much. And every year, Harry ended up right back in Privet Drive, where all his progress seemed to spring back like a slinky, like a brand new question to be answered—was he even worth that much?
Draco runs away to the only place where no one would look for her: Harry Potter's house. Harry... makes friends? He's not sure, either.
Series
- Part 3 of Female Draco Brain Rot
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It was like looking in a mirror—if mirrors were designed to show you what you’d look like post-head-splitting execution. And with a poor haircut.
James made a series of aborted sounds before he managed, “Who’d pretend to be me when I’m literally here?”
“A wise question,” said Dumbledore calmly.
Sirius murmured, “Death Eaters are barmy.”
What does one do when being impersonated by a nutjob? What does one do when assumed to be said nutjob? When can Draco go home? All good questions no one has the answers to!
ft. made up spells
Series
- Part 1 of Female Draco Brain Rot
Recent series
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Summary
A number of complete and in-construction Female Draco, Drarry fics. None of the fics are related—each work is a stand-alone.
- Words:
- 31,399
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 18
Recent bookmarks
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It was really just his luck that a hulking monster lumbered out of the woods and directly onto his driveway. Just his luck that he threw enough parties when his parents were gone that the neighbors had long tuned out any noise that came from his yard. Just a nice cherry on top of the fucking cake that, even if anyone did hear him screaming when claws tangled in his jacket and pulled, Steve honestly wasn’t sure they’d have cared enough to bother anyway.
OR:
Months before El ripped open the gate at Hawkins Lab, the Demogorgon started ripping tears of its own. Months before it found Will Byers, it found Steve Harrington.
Series
- Part 1 of Nowhere to look but inside
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Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.
(Fic from 2010 FF archive being uploaded here.)
AND FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, STOP REPOSTING THIS ON WATTPAD. I DO NOT WANT IT ON WATTPAD. YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO POST THIS ON WATTPAD.
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A roomba, a raccoon and a new recruit by Bergen, happyaspie
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
11 Oct 2024
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Tony always knew that Queens was a bit of an unhinged neighborhood. So of course it was going to be during a visit to Queens that he once again fell victim to a robot attack. The ‘robot’ being an overexcited roomba that responded to voice commands awfully well.
Whoever made this roomba was clearly operating on that fine line between genius and insanity.
Which meant Tony needed to meet him.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,049
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 126
- Kudos:
- 3,079
- Bookmarks:
- 541
- Hits:
- 14,253
Bookmarked by paddlessss
02 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
I'll read anything by Bergen but this is sublime
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Tobio braced himself and stood, gathering Hinata’s warm body close. Hinata’s weight settled against him, strengthening the impression he always had at these times: that he was collecting a part of himself, severed by some weird circumstance. In these moments he couldn’t help feeling that Hinata belonged to him, and as long as he didn’t talk about the impression out loud it harmed no one. As it was Hinata mumbled a little, curling into him the way he’d anticipated.
Without a word he carried Hinata to Hinata’s cluttered bedroom and laid him in bed, wrestling blankets out from under him to cover him with. Hinata woke, then, a little, but only to blink at him sleepily and mumble something that sounded like thanks. He turned away, and Tobio returned to his own bedroom, turning off all the lights on the way. That restlessness from earlier threatened to rise up and strangle him.
Living with Hinata was nice—but only most of the time. Only when he didn’t feel like this.
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(Kageyama and Hinata navigate living together at university while not dating. It's hard—the not-dating part, that is.)