salem2481



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane calls a phone sex hotline and gets Ilya crooning unspeakable filth in his ear. It kind of devolves from there.

    ———

    Ilya is a college student in Boston working on the side as a phone sex operator, Shane is still a hockey player. They have toe-curling, back-cracking dirty phone sex and end up catching feelings along the way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    131,252
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    893
    Kudos:
    3,714
    Bookmarks:
    1,380
    Hits:
    94,767

    18 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane thought that by the time he was thirty, he’d be married and on the waitlist to adopt a baby. He spent his twenties in one serious longterm relationship after another, after all.

    Instead he is now twenty-nine, single for over a year and looking for a nice, stable boyfriend: preferably college educated and in the same place in life as he is.

    The only problem is that the bartender at the restaurant Shane takes his dates to is the hottest man Shane has ever seen in his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,316
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    291
    Kudos:
    3,832
    Bookmarks:
    763
    Hits:
    25,457

    16 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    still-famous!Shane and his beginning/subsequent adventures with non!famous but aspiring WAG!Ilya and the Centaurs :)

    this will be a "complete unless I decide to add another one-shot" series so no waiting or cliffhangers!

    Words:
    46,226
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1,105

    16 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,863
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    303
    Kudos:
    1,276
    Bookmarks:
    429
    Hits:
    10,287

    16 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    153,028
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    590

    15 Jun 2026