sapphicGarland
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Summary
"Why is this shitfuck pan-rotting pile of artifact-ridden, glitchy, nonsensical sewage that can barely pass itself off as a movie somehow a thoughtful criticism on the global rise of authoritarianism and well-put commentary on how young working class males are forced into the military? What the actual fuck? Why do none of the other reviews mention this?"
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit. Meeting Strider, the biggest douchebag in the world, does not help. Also he keeps meeting this annoyingly smart human kid and his awkward/obnoxious but very hot guardian. These two things are entirely unrelated.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 117,856
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 1,450
- Kudos:
- 1,591
- Bookmarks:
- 335
- Hits:
- 35,850
Bookmarked by sapphicGarland
12 Sep 2025
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See, the thing is, you weren’t born when John ectobiologized you into being, you weren’t born when your meteor crashed down to Earth, and you weren’t born when Bro gifted you your first pair of shades and dubbed you Dave Strider.
No, you were born standing on top of a Houston high-rise at six years old. You were born the first time you held a sword.
You were born holding a sword, and you’re going to die the same way.
(or: Dave, swords, and the role they’ve played in his life.)
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In which Karkat Vantas is a surly ex-Marine who is absolutely for sure NOT a gray space alien, nor has he ever been a gray space alien at any point in his life ever, regardless of what this weirdo Sollux Captor claims when they meet in a bar one miserable Friday night.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,961
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 367
- Kudos:
- 3,957
- Bookmarks:
- 917
- Hits:
- 60,400
Bookmarked by sapphicGarland
26 Feb 2025
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Dave and Karkat have a long overdue, late-night discussion about the upcoming final battle (and lots of other things, too).
Bookmarked by sapphicGarland
13 May 2017
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After the events of the game, Dave wakes up in a universe that is familiarly unfamiliar. Sburb didn't happen, all their guardians are alive, and Bro is...different.
Series
- Part 1 of Time Displacement
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 134,821
- Chapters:
- 24/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,165
- Kudos:
- 2,552
- Bookmarks:
- 626
- Hits:
- 60,274
Bookmarked by sapphicGarland
09 May 2017