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Pillow Talk #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 17 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
17 Feb 2020
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Whist being a valentine’s prompt short fic, this may also be considered an unofficial, much demanded chapter 3 of “Not on the plants, dear, we’re British” – a NSFW comedy fic. It didn’t have quite as much comedic value as I wanted for a real chapter 3, but it was pillow talk so I decided rather than binning it, to put it here instead. For context read the comedy fic first.
Awkward demons aren’t the only people with embarrassing secret wank stories. A certain principality has some skeletons in his own closet…Series
- Part 17 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Flowers #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 16 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
16 Feb 2020
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After moving into the cottage, Crowley sets about tidying up the garden. He does it all by manual labour rather than miracles, to give himself something to do. One day he hits upon an idea that will take several months to come to fruition, and lays out a secret for his Angel. One spring day it's ready…
Series
- Part 16 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Delicacies #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 15 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
15 Feb 2020
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I cheated slightly on this prompt, I already had a piece of fic which works for this theme – a chapter in my 1st fic “Protection” details their first kiss, by way of a particular delicacy. I grew up abroad, and some of that in South East Turkey, a region around the City of Diyarbakir, famous for its amazing distinctively flavoured honey*, which they use in the making of a regional pastry called “baklava”, making Diyarbakir baklava an entirely different taste to anywhere else in the world. It is different even to anywhere else in Turkey – baklava in Istanbul or Ankara doesn’t even compare in flavour to that region.
*Bees in the area drink mostly nectar from the many, many fields of opium poppies, which lends a distinctly unique and rare flavour unobtainable in most regions of the world.
Baklava is sticky, sweet and flaky, it’s delicate and delectable and just the kind of thing I can imagine Aziraphale loving, so we ended up with this delicious moment, inspired as much by Crowley’s kink of watching his angel eat, as by Aziraphale’s knowledge of this fact.Series
- Part 15 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Be My Valentine #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 14 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
14 Feb 2020
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Ever wondered what was in that box on Crowley’s red marble desk? I did, and Aziraphale does too…
Series
- Part 14 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Grand Gesture #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 13 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
13 Feb 2020
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Crowley has been keeping a secret from Aziraphale for some time, when circumstances force it out into the open, and Crowley has a choice to make.
Series
- Part 13 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Serenade #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 12 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
12 Feb 2020
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A serenade doesn’t always have to be in person. Crowley accidentally pours his heart out to his Angel without even knowing it. Technology can be a double edged sword.
Series
- Part 12 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Love token #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 11 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
11 Feb 2020
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I decided to include part of a chapter from a fic I’ve already written for this prompt, because it works so well with what I wanted to write for this, and to re-write it again seemed silly. This is a snippet from my fic “Vengeance Found” which itself is a sequel to “Lost and Found”. In Lost and found, Crowley plucks a black feather from his wing, kisses it, and passes it to Aziraphale. Later, Aziraphale returns the token with his own in the same way. When Crowley gave his feather, he had yet to regain his lost memories.
In the sequel “Vengeance Found” the following scene happens as they lie on the grass in the sunshine together before something important, and potentially very dangerous they are about to undertake together. It’s one of the sweetest, most loving things I’ve written and I adore it.Series
- Part 11 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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champagne #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 10 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
10 Feb 2020
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It’s only fanfic if it’s from the Fanfique region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling pornography.
Crowley takes his angel to an abandoned nightclub to treat him to a personal pole dance and some bubbly.
Series
- Part 10 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Kiss #IneffableValentines prompt 9 ILLUSTRATED by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
09 Feb 2020
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Aziraphale decides to be Just Enough Of A Bastard™ again, with some long, drawn-out experimentation on a very frustrated Crowley. Obviously NSFW.
Beautiful artwork very kindly done by the super talented Miele_Petite
Series
- Part 9 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Touch #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 8 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
08 Feb 2020
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Crowley is surprised to find that Aziraphale has never tried out a vulva before. The demon decides that a little fun education and experimentation is in order, and teaches Aziraphale how to get the most fun out of her new body style. Featuring both masculine and feminine Crowley and Aziraphale, but mostly femme both. Obviously NSFW.
Series
- Part 8 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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My angel is the centrefold #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 7 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
07 Feb 2020
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Aziraphale discovers Crowley’s preferences and organises a surprise.
Series
- Part 7 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Perfect Date #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 6 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
06 Feb 2020
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Crowley plans a perfect date for Aziraphale, weeks of planning go into making it as memorable as he can, as he steels himself to tell his angel how he feels.
Series
- Part 6 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Hearts #IneffableValentines 2020 prompt 5 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
05 Feb 2020
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Aziraphale needs help, and Crowley rushes to be his knight in shining armour for a high speed drive through London with someone’s life on the line.
Series
- Part 5 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Tease -#IneffableValentines2020 prompt 4 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
04 Feb 2020
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Crowley treats his love to some soft, relaxing teasing touches. Undoubtedly the softest, sweetest, most caring smut I have ever written.
Series
- Part 4 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Poetry #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 3 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
03 Feb 2020
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I like to imagine that if Crowley ever wrote poetry for his angel, to keep him safe, Crowley would write it, read it, and then consign it to the flames so no one else could ever read it. But he’d always know he’d done it. But after they became their own side? Who knows what he’d do with his words.
Series
- Part 3 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Roses #IneffableValentines2020 prompt 2 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
02 Feb 2020
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There’s a family of gardeners who grow and sell plants and flowers, specialising in roses. For generations, a curious redheaded gentleman (and presumably his descendants) have been visiting and buying rose bushes from them, and having them collect and cultivate certain types of rose, and even to custom grow a special variety for him. He whisks the roses away somewhere and no one ever knows where.
Then one day, Aziraphale finds out…
Series
- Part 2 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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Chocolate #ineffableValentines2020 prompt 1 by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for Miele_Petite
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
01 Feb 2020
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Crowley has a longstanding aversion to chocolate, and blames it squarely on Aziraphale. Perhaps he just needed sufficient motivation to appreciate it properly, that and a few thousand years of product development from the humans. Trust me, it’s worth it for the ending ;)
Series
- Part 1 of Ineffable Valentines 2020
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The trouble with dragons by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for theycallmeDernhelm (onyourleft084)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
24 Jan 2020
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A certain time of year could be problematic for Crowley…
Because the last thing he’d been expecting when he wandered into the shopping centre was to come face to face with a dragon.
.......Some ineffable husbands bickering, mostly.
A gift to theycallmeDernhelm for the fic prompt on twitter. -
Wet'N'Wild by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
18 Jan 2020
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So, another crack!fic of comedy porn was demanded for the “Throat-Spackling Twunts and Other Nonsense” collection (& discord server), On one of the NSFW Good Omens facebook groups, a post was shared which went:
“Do ya pu$$y ever randomly get wet and you’re just like ???? what is it girl??? What do you see???”
The comment was “I saw this and it made me think about if Aziraphale decided to have a vulva but didn’t really think too much about how they work and he just gets wet when he sees Crowley and either (a) freaks the fuck out or (b) asks Crowley what the deal is and Crowley chokes on air, and now I’m just giggling like a nut.”
So I was dared to write a crack version.
This is absolutely not meant to be taken seriously. Somehow the “Not on the plants, dear, we’re British” fic led to this nonsense. I’m not even sorry any more, I’m going to hell anyway. See you filthy buggers down there. *Raises glass*.NEW! JuliaJekyll has done a PODFIC go and have a listen!
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Not on the plants, dear, we’re British (NOW WITH ART!) by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge) for IneffableAlien
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
12 Jan 2020
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Crowley has a sad/angry wank and takes out his frustration on his plants. Literally.
(I dunno, I struggled to find a title for this pile of excrement.)
A drunken ExMarks very kindly did a youtube reading of my atrocious fic, enjoy, I did!JuliaJekyll *ALSO* did a PODFIC
Miel_Petite illustrated my chaotic comedy nonsense, NSFW illustration at the end of the fic.
FYI the title came from "No sex please, we're British", an obscure old comedy.