sillybugboy
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"I don't know how to do this," Simon admitted, voice cracking. "I don't know how to mean something to someone."
"I'm painfully aware."
"I panicked," Simon said. "It got too real and I panicked. Clearly, I'm fucking terrible at staying away because I didn't last a week before crawling back, but the only thing scarier than meaning too much to you is not meaning enough. I don't want to be your goddamn pal or your lieutenant or the fucking Ghost to you."
Johnny couldn't look him in the eyes, couldn't peer into his blown-out pupils because he already felt too fragile under Simon's frantic stare. He inhaled through his nose, nerves twisting his stomach into knots.
"What do you want?" he asked, barely audible over the tremble in his voice.
"I want to be everything. I want you to feel like you can't breathe when I'm not around, I want you to forgive me for acting like a grade-A arsehole and a coward the past few days," Simon breathed, dropping his forehead to Johnny's and letting his rain-soaked lashes fall shut. "I want to be Simon and I want all of you, always, until someone finally kills me and puts me out of my misery."
Series
- Part 4 of equilibrium!verse
Bookmarked by sillybugboy
08 Dec 2025
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“That’s really smart and intuitive of you. These activities are not meant to be followed exactly because people think through and process things differently. It sounds like you’re a very visual and tactile person, so you found a way to make it work for you. I’m really glad you kept trying and didn’t give up, though that would have been fine as well.”
“Mmthanks” Soap mumbles and moves back to fully sit in his chair. He is definitely not thinking about the ways Simon is visual and tactile as well.
Simon hands Soap his journal and waits for Soap to say anything more. Which he doesn’t because he can’t because Simon has said things to him that no one has ever said. It’s the opposite of his nightmare from last week. He’s sitting in the office of someone who would’ve been his superior if they were still enlisted and he’s being told he’s talented and intuitive like it’s nothing. But it’s not nothing. It’s everything.
~~
Three months after being medically discharged, Soap is feeling aimless and in need of support. He goes to his local Veterans Association and meets with social worker Simon Riley, who helps him find a new way forward
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Bookmarked by sillybugboy
06 Dec 2025
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Price has known Ghost longer and better than just about anyone else on earth.
So, understandably, the golden ring that suddenly appears on Ghost's finger takes him completely off guard.
Bookmarked by sillybugboy
04 Dec 2025
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What the fuck.
Soap brings his hand closer to his face, squinting hard. Making his already pounding headache worse. This isn’t real. Has to be a prank. For some reason, Gaz must’ve sneaked in here. Funny guy.
He’s heard—even seen it, once—the stories. It’s rare, but real, or at least an elaborate hoax, spanning countries and hundreds of years.
People brought together, Fate intervening. Everyone is supposed to have one, a red thread leading and binding them to the person they’re supposed to spend their life with, though Soap isn’t sure how true that is. No one falls in love once. But it’s not just for love, as he heard it. Maybe this is that. He’s not in love with Ghost. Wants him, sure, crushing…not something he wants to admit to in the cold light of day, but okay.
It’s not love.
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- English
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- 382,304
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- 25/25
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Bookmarked by sillybugboy
04 Dec 2025
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It was good to stand there, being close again, sharing the same space. John‘s cheeks were red from the cold, the tip of his nose, too. No matter how beautiful the falling snow was in the English countryside, Ghost couldn‘t stop looking at John.
Despite wanting to trace his features, brush over the small drops of molten snow on his cheek, over his beard, he didn‘t. They were very much out in the open, their arms just covered by the railing of the tower.
I missed you, he wanted to say, but didn‘t.
The low baritone of Simon's voice reached him like a shot of whiskey burning its way into his belly, equal parts warm, comforting and intoxicating.
The words were soft, though, not a hint of cheek in them, and wasn't that curious.
He wanted to go to Simon, push himself into his big body like a little boy pulling a thick, familiar blanket over himself. Wanted to kiss him hello, but he stood there, unsure what kind of cover the dark gave them.
Missed you, he thought to say, but didn't.
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Bookmarked by sillybugboy
03 Dec 2025