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1. Rec 27

   flash your cards by red_racer

   Fandoms: Homestuck  

   • Explicit
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   24 Oct 2023

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
   • Jake English/Dirk Strider
   • Dave Strider
   • Karkat Vantas
   • Jake English
   • Dirk Strider
   • Alternative Universe - FBI
   • Crimes & Criminals
   • Phone Sex
   • as of right now there is no real phone sex
   • but not for lack of trying - Freeform
   • Dave is one thoughtful “happy birthday” wish away from crumbling like a house of cards
   • Jake manages to convince everyone including himself that he’s a Normal Guy
   • vantas has problems im not gonna even touch in the tags

   Summary

   Dirk and Dave are the best thieves in the business, but when you're at the top there's nowhere to go but down.

   Criminally bored, Dave sets his heart on blackmailing the FBI. How?
   Step 1) Create a fake phone sex service
   Step 2) ?
   Step 3) Profit
   Simple.

   Meanwhile, Dirk vows to keep this train on the tracks and stay ahead of the investigation. Recon style. Too bad fate has other plans.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   49,145

   Chapters:

   6/?

   Comments:

   104

   Kudos:

   95

   Bookmarks:

   27

   Hits:

   2,033

   Bookmarked by stridisc

   02 Dec 2025